#But a psalm not even the snow can say is a better story that I like more

[thewollfgang]

Something Else. It's most important to me is that I like the story and think it's a good story. Comments and kudos are awesome, but very little will sway my own opinion of my works.

*"important" meaning, it's what you consider the mark of a "successful", well-liked fic

(I know a lot of people don't pay attention to the stats, they're simply posting for their own entertainment, unmoved if their fic gets 0 likes or 100 likes. This is for the people who do care! Who do notice the stats.)

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Sunday 25 August 1839

3 ½

10 ¾

fine morning A-‘s neck poorly – off from Stockholm at 5 ½ in little carriage and 2 horses – no forbud – at Rottebro [Rotebro] (single house) at 7 13/.. – terrible boulder stone pavé in Stockholm and terrible and many deeo channels there – good road nice drive – about ¾ of the way very pretty wooded lake – Rottebro [Rotebro] one story red smeared wood house – not good to sleep at – sun now at 7 ½ am it peeped out about 7 – very fine morning – off in 13 minutes – good road – nice drive – nice good country for Sweden – peeps now and then of wood pretty lake (right) Maista [Märsta] single farm house not good to sleep at – A – very cold – very good road – forest with moss green rocks as in Norway but no large old trees – there open country – less encumbered with rock and boulder than in the other parts of Sweden that we have seen – better farming? and better crops? corn in stook and to cut – peas drying on poles reared in a circle and meeting at top like a Lapland hut – hops  very fine morning – Alisk [Alsike] single house – better than the 2 last – perhaps one might sleep here? Hamlets and villages and farms thinly scattered today – wondered at their being so thinly scattered close to the capital – the country here seems better peopled than just out of the gates of Stockholm –

Snow-ploughs lying at the roadside here as everywhere

From Alisk [Alsike] to Upsāla [Uppsala] very pretty drive – excellent road – open country – at 11 40/.. good wood bridge over broadish stream and then fine vist view thro’ forest by and by sun to terminate in the huge brick chateau built on a hill qui domine the 2 steepled cathedral and the city – arrived at 12 20/.. – Hotel de la poste – ordered dinner at 2 – changed our dress – out at 1 40/.. – to the cathedral – large

August Sunday 25 handsome (clean) whitewashed church – a large crucifix over the altar – beneath the pedestal of the crucifix a cross over which hung a serpent – the altar in decoration like a Roman catholic altar  the congregation was assembled at 2 and the organ played and the people sang psalms till 2 20/.. the preacher began the epistle at 2 20/.. and we staid 10 minutes longer – his manner perfectly quiet, but he spoke clearly and impressionably – home at 2 40/.. dinner at 2 ¾ in 35 minutes – then I dozed on the sofa till near 4 – up so early – and driving all the way (A- and I in front – John Winter our new courier and the peasant behind) and having nothing to eat but a little gingerbread with A- between 10 and 11 as we sat in the carriage at Alisk [Alsike] (from 10 27/.. to 11 10/.. one of the horses being shod in the meantime) i.e. little to eat from 4pm. yesterday to 2 ¾ today, made me feel sleepy – out at 4 to the botanic garden – our courier did not even know Linnaeus by name – but he native of Hamburg was courier to prince Oscar 3 years – then set up at Stockholm as loueur de voitures – failed recently and now gets his living as well as he can  - was with Captain Wilbraham of the 7th regiment a fortnight ago for 4 days – went to Dannemora – not time for Falun – off to St. Petersburg – Captain W- asked if ladies descended at Danemora [Dannemora] – no! none but English ladies and several of these had been down! – a civil intelligent garçon gardener shewed us the Serres and orangery and garden ground immediately around them – the building called orangery handsome – but no orange trees to be seen there or near there (a few in the serres the man said) the tubs outside filled with our common and Portugal laurels – ivy in pots outside – will no[t] do well out of doors! yet common sorts of palmiers seemed healthy in the orangery larger and healthier than what we saw in the serres – a thing very common hereabouts and forming a low hedge at the botanic garden is Spiraea calcifolia [salicifolia], flower like sweet dock

no fire in the hot houses

SH:7/ML/TR/13/0008

August Sunday 25 Spruce firs planted at 2 foots, hedgewise – and others cut into cones or looked better as obelisks or a paral of 2 rows of them just below the chateau (in the part of the botanic garden between the museum and chateau) – these spruces looked just as well as if they had been yews and might be got up in ½ the time – the museum Thunbergs’ collection a poor concern – birds etc. ill stuffed and not in the best preservation – the specimens (an infinity of serpents) in spirits locked up in dark cupboards – many duplicates and bad arrangement – the statue of Linnaeus sitting – book in his hand – contemplating his favourite flower (Linnaea borealis)  not a chef-d’oeuvre, but interesting -  

2 or 3 specimens of Gigantic Elk – caught near here 6 or 7 years ago as I understood – but one of John’s (Winter) friends shot one last winter about 1 ½ mile from here – salted it the meat a delicacy – some left – we are to tasted it – this animal in all the forests here – the horns covered with a sort of down – as also the horns of the rein-deer. can buy here the salted tongues and hams of rein deer

Fringa, several [species] of, found in the isle of Gothland sur le bord de la mer – curious sort of ruff round its neck do not recollect having seen this bird anywhere before

Platalea pygmaea caught here pigmy spoonbill said to be the only specimen of the kind to be found in any museum –

August Sunday 25 Tetrao generic name of moor game

common barn-door fowl classed Phasianus gallus.

Heron, genus ardea.

from the musée sauntered to the chateau – the governor resides in one part – prisoners before their trail are confined in another part – many rooms unfurnished – the 3 or 4 towers (at one each corner) look well – but the modern parts – one front with a pediment are terrible – fine commanding situation – the views from it have excused us the trouble of going to the top of the cathedral – old Upsāla [Uppsala] full in view from the chateau – nothing worth seeing says our courier when at mora – merely a few stone with no inscriptions at all – then walked down thro’ the town to the Steamer that plies daily between Stockholm and here in 5 hours – deck passage 2 dollars rigs. – salon double that John thinks – nice vessel enough – deck covered with awning as usual - Upsāla [Uppsala] a nice town – the most livable we have seen – not so low and water girt as the towns in Sweden in general in which one fancies one could not breathe for damp and fog – the castle cathedral university buildings library etc. on high ground – fine fresh air, and agreeable – our Inn comfortable – the first house just below the new library and nicely situated – a drop or 2 of rain between 4 and 5 and afterwards but held off till we came in at 7 ½ - then a shower – till then very fine day – no supper – no wish for anything since dinner excellent veal cutlets (carbonnade) and preserved gooseberries and fried morsels of potato – then soup – then fritters – such is the order here – all good – had just written so far (inked all over accounts and all) now at 10 pm at which hour F60 ½°

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Seven - Storms and Earthquakes

Author’s Note: A special thank you to @aim170, for the beautiful quote. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

Which yields its fruits in its season

And its leaf does not wither;

And in whatever he does, he prospers.

Psalm 1:3

Victor had heard many life stories filled with hardship and sorrow that usually ended with the protagonist rising above it all. He had heard more than he could count, but the one that warmed his heart the most was the one of the woman with whom he was sharing a bed.

He had said it before, and he would say it again: Andrea was a tree. He hadn’t seen the abuse, but he had witnessed her valiantly take everything that made her life ugly and turn it into beauty with love, perseverance and a touch of stubbornness. He watched her as she faced all the seasons, with courage and faith, and he was the one that sat beneath her luscious branches and ate from her fruit, proud to see her still standing tall, even after the wind, rain, and snow.

For that, and so much more, he loved her. There was nothing he wouldn’t in the name of love. And this was important to her. This was her lifelong dream, the thing she wanted the most, so he would give it to her. He wanted nothing more than to see his tree grow, thicken her trunk and stretch her branches to the sky, embellishing the landscape with her vibrant leaves and beautiful flowers.

When she mentioned the fertility clinic in Switzerland, he carefully read every piece of literature she provided, along with the information obtained by his private investigators. She led him to that doctor’s office and he gladly followed, with a patient smile on his face, open-minded and cooperative, even though his heart was filled with worry.

He listened to the doctor explain how Andrea would receive newly developed hormonal shots to stimulate ovulation, and how her eggs would be fertilized and inserted inside a surrogate womb. That woman would stay under the clinic’s care, and they would be informed of every step in their child’s growth and health. Victor had already prepared a set of questions to ask the doctor, and he posed every single one of them and remained receptive, although surrogacy was something that made him extremely uneasy.

When the doctor left them to discuss their options, Andrea looking at him with pleading eyes, Victor had no choice but to hold her lovingly and kiss her. He walked into that room filled with distasteful porn magazines and ignored them, making love to his wife in his mind instead. She didn’t even need to make her case, she had already won.

The first injection barely had any consequences. Andrea spent the majority of the first day sleeping, probably due to jet lag as well, only mentioning some mild nausea. After the second injection, however, Andrea’s health took a turn for the worse. Victor found her kneeling by the toilet late that night, heaving painfully, her face swollen due to the effort. Her body soon followed, to the point where Andrea found it hard to button her pants or even walk, due to her swollen feet.

Victor brought her every kind of meal he could think of, in hopes of finding something that she could keep in her stomach, only to see her run to the bathroom minutes later to empty it. While she slept, the only thing that seemed to bring her any kind of comfort, Victor would call the doctor, worried that, in the attempt of creating life, Andrea was actually killing herself.

Every night, every single night, he would ask her if she wanted to quit the treatment and fly home. Every single time he would tell her he loved her, that she was all he needed, that their life of two was already more than he ever imagined for himself. He would try to talk her out of it, saying that he didn’t like seeing her make herself sick like that, that he wanted nothing more than his wife happy and healthy. And every time she would put on a strong face, tell him it was not that bad, that she wanted to keep trying. Victor found himself with no choice but to kiss her forehead, secretly checking for fever, only to tell her to get ready for another injection. He would clench his shaking hand to steady it, torn between the feeling that he was helping her make her dream come true and simultaneously making her sick.

The day after the last injection she started eating again, preparing herself for the next phase. The color returned to her cheeks, as well as some of her energy. That allowed Victor to feel some relief, even though the concern never went away. The first battle was over, but the war was yet to be won.

He held her hand lovingly as the medical staff put her under anesthesia, promising her that his would be the last face she would see as she fell asleep, and the first one when she woke up. He never left her side. He witnessed the doctors take from her eight eggs, the seeds that would make one baby hers, and take them to the laboratory for fertilization. He stroked her curls as she slept off the medicine, knowing she would wake up with anxious eyes and a heart full of questions. He would be prepared for all of them, and he would soothe any worry in her heart. The ground was shaking violently under his tree, making her shake due to the consequences of abuse, so he would keep her rooted.

Victor watched as her eyelids fluttered open, a groggy look on her face. His face was the first thing she saw. And his hand on hers was the first thing she felt. He gave her a soft smile.

“When are we starting?” She was still half-asleep. Victor chuckled at his sleepyhead of a wife.

“It’s already finished.” His hand caressed her face, like he could remove the remnants of the drug-induced sleep. “It went very well. They collected eight eggs.”

Andrea started to fidget. Victor’s hand rested on her chest, steadying her.

“Are you in pain? The doctors said you could experience some soreness or cramps.”

“I’m fine, I just need some help sitting.” Victor’s hands immediately rested on her waist and back, supporting her as she tried to sit up. “They just collected eight? They said fifteen was the go-to number.”

“It’s an estimate, they don’t need fifteen eggs. They just need one good egg.” Victor squeezed her hand lovingly. “They are on fertilization as we speak.”

“So it went well? We are going to have a baby?” Her eyes filled with tears. “Is this really happening?”

“It appears so.” Victor smiled, trying to hide his concern.

In all honesty, he should have told her that she should wait, she shouldn’t hope this much, this battle wasn’t over, they weren’t winners yet. But that was the grey, dark, cynical part of him, which used to be all of him before she came into his life. When she did come, she filled his life with sunshine, flowers, branches heavy with leaves, the cool shade for his aching heart, so much in need of a place to rest. He couldn’t repay her with shades of grey when she needed light. So he allowed her to hope, a bit selfishly, because her colors made his colors so much more vibrant, the world becoming a better place when she had a smile on her face and hope in her eyes.

So he wiped away her happy tears and allowed himself to laugh with her, feeling his heart also becoming lighter. That was the power of her smile.

Unfortunately, her happiness would be short-lived. The doctor appeared shortly after, a grim look on his face, making Andrea’s smile fade instantly. Victor took her hand again, offering her his strength.

“Is something wrong?” Andrea questioned before Victor could, and he could swear he felt something shaking in her core.

“I’m just returning from the laboratory.” The doctor explained. “The procedure was a success, however, upon more thorough analysis, we came to conclude the eggs aren’t healthy enough to undergo fertilization.”

There was a long pause. Victor and the doctor were expecting Andrea’s reaction.

“Well, ok.” She nodded after a long deep breath. “We’ll try again, then. We can return next month and-”

“Mrs. Lee.” The doctor interrupted her, and Andrea drew in a ragged breath. “I am so very sorry to tell you this, but despite our previous assessment, your ovaries may not be as healthy as we thought. If we stimulate ovulation again, there is no guarantee that the next eggs will be viable, and doing so could lead to dire consequences to your health. I can’t in good conscience advise that.”

Again, the room fell silent. Andrea’s eyes focused on the comforter covering her legs and she remained still, reactionless. It was Victor that broke the silence.

“Thank you, doctor. My wife and I will reassess our situation and figure out the next course of action.” He looked at her, hoping for her to return his gaze. She didn’t. “She may be released today?”

“Yes, she will be more comfortable at home. I’ll come back in an hour with her release papers and to perform a final examination.”

Finally alone, Victor waited patiently for her to speak. She seemed to be taking a long time forming the words, her eyes watering, sadness seemingly building a deep pit inside her, and she was falling. He took her chin in his hand and made her face him, letting her know he was there, he wouldn’t let her fall.

“We can get an egg donor.” She finally surfaced from her thoughts. “I don’t care if it doesn’t have my DNA, it will still-”

“No.” Victor stopped her.

“Victor, we-”

“No.” He reinforced. “Either it’s from both of us, or it won’t happen.”

“Didn’t you hear the doctor? Mine aren’t...” Her voice failed. He hated to be the one giving the final blow that would crush her dream, but he wouldn’t want a child from another woman. Andrea was the woman he loved.

“Andy…” His voice was soft. “It’s over.” Victor’s heart broke as he spoke the words. He hated to be the one giving the final blow that would crush her dream, but he wouldn’t want a child from another woman. Andrea was the woman he loved.

“That’s it?” She looked down, her brows furrowing in disbelief. “We lost?”

“I’m sorry.” He wiped one of the tears that fell. He hated to see her cry. He wanted to give her everything she could possibly dream of, but it was painstakingly obvious that somethings can’t be bought.

“I should be the one apologizing.” Her voice trembled once more. “I’m the one with a broken body, I’m the one who can’t conceive a child.”

Victor pulled her closer to him. Andrea quickly broke the embrace.

“A hug won’t help. It won’t change the fact that I’m malfunctioning. It won’t ease the fact that I’m a disgrace of a woman, of a wife, I can’t give you a family. And it’s just so unfair!” She smacked the comforter in rage. “I don’t get it, women get pregnant all the time without even wanting to. Why can’t I? Why, Victor?” She turned to him, her eyes full of pain.

“Andy…” He tried to caress her, only to have her evade his touch.

“No! I don’t need comforting, I need answers!” She yelled at him, her emotions out of control. “I want to know, if there is a God, why would he do this to me! Why does he think that it’s fair that some women give their kids away or mistreat them, and I have to suffer through this! We would be such great parents; we have so much love to give, we have the means, the education, everything to make it work. You would be such a great father, we could be such a happy tight family, and I WANT IT SO FREAKING BAD, WHY CAN’T IT HAPPEN?”

The ground was shaking harder, stones coming to surface, her core shaking violently, and all Victor could do was watch. He could hear the storm rumbling inside her chest, the heavy rain taking away the ground, leaving her roots exposed. For a moment, he didn’t know how to stop it.

“This is all my fault! I let that asshole into my life, let him beat me into a worthless piece of crap, who can’t do something as simple as PRODUCE ONE SIMPLE DAMN GOOD EGG, LET ALONE BEAR A CHILD!”

Victor couldn’t stand it anymore. Pulling her towards him quite forcefully, he buried her face in his chest, holding tight to his tree. He would not let her roots be released from the earth. He wouldn’t let her topple over. He would face the storm with her. She wasn’t alone.

“Enough of that!” He commanded the storm. “I understand you are hurting, that you are disappointed, but you are never to speak about yourself in that manner again, do you understand me?” His voice spoke powerful and low in her ear, perhaps a little more sternly than he intended. “You are the most amazing woman I have met in my life; you are so far from being worthless. And you are not a disgraceful wife, you purposefully made yourself sick so I could have a chance at becoming a father. I’ve never had anyone in my life go to such lengths for me, ever! It’s only fair that you are sad, more than legitimate to be angry, but not at yourself, do you hear me?” He pushed her shoulders back and leaned his forehead against her, making her face him. “I understand that you feel like throwing punches, and the world does deserve some of them, but never at yourself! Am I clear?”

Her body shook with sobs, and she finally let herself be properly held. Victor kept her pressed to him,  so close that for a moment he feared she would suffocate. He could feel the rain beating hard against her now naked roots, threatening to wash her away, as the earth broke beneath her. He wouldn’t let it happen. They would weather the storm together; he would allow no rain, thunder or lightning to ruin the most beautiful thing in his world. And at that moment, he too became a tree, and he buried his roots deep in the ground, entangling them with hers.

[dailyaudiobible]

01/10/2021 DAB Transcript

Genesis 23:1-24:51, Matthew 8:1-17, Psalms 9:13-20, Proverbs 3:1-6

Today is the 10th day of January, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is great to be here with you as we greet a brand-new week, a shiny sparkly new week that we are entering into as we continue to move into this brand-new year that we have together. So, it is wonderful. We are falling into a rhythm and it is a meaningful one. Every day we come around the Global Campfire together as a community and hear the word of God spoken over us, and then it becomes a part of who we are, it becomes a part of the soil, the fabric of our lives and it yields a crop. We’re planting seeds right now that are going to come up and it will be the fruit of the spirit, like it will be good in our lives. It will be perspective and context in our lives. And, so, we got a good thing going here and let’s dive into our next week together. We’ll read from the New Living Translation this week and pick up where we left off yesterday. Genesis chapter 23 verse 1 through 24 verse 51.

Prayer:

Father we thank You for Your word. We thank You for bringing us into this brand-new week. We thank You for what wisdom has told us today, that we should trust You with our whole hearts. That's all of us, that we should trust You with who we are and not depend on what we think we know, not depend on our own understanding. We should seek Your will in all that we’re doing, and You will show us which path to take because we will be walking with You at this point, and You will be pointing out the beauty of life together with You. You know all of the hidden vistas, You know all of the secret lookouts, You know all of the cool places of life, and You have invited us to walk through life with You, the most-high God. And, so, often we’re just so busy trying to appease our fellow human beings and get some sort of identity from them when You have invited us into an adventure. So, come Holy Spirit, help us. This begins by trusting You with everything and not thinking that we’re gonna figure it all out but knowing that You know it all. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus’ name, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what’s going on around here. Of course, if you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can access pretty much all of this as well using the app. But this is where we get connected. This is where we stay connected. This is home base. It's the home of the Global Campfire. It's…well…I mean we’re a virtual community. We are far-flung. We are all over the earth. And, so, this is the place that we can come back together and be together. So, be aware of that and check it out.

Check out the community section, either via the app or the…the website and that…that's where the Prayer Wall is. There’s always someone to pray for, always, and there are always people praying. So, you can always reach out for prayer. So, be aware of that and…yeah…pray for each other. That's what we do here. It’s one of the distinctives. It’s one of the beautiful things that we do here, is just accept people where they are on their journey and no matter…no matter where they’ve been or how this is all gonna play out, we’re…we’re willing to accept each other where we are on the journey right now knowing that everybody's in process, none of…none of us have…have reached perfection and just to accept…accept each other where we are and be willing to walk the path and pray for one another and encourage one another. We’re very very good at that here maybe better than anywhere I have ever seen. In fact, not maybe, better than anywhere I’ve ever seen. And, so, we love one another well and there are places like the Prayer Wall to always have a place to reach. So, be aware of that.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage. I thank you. I thank you profoundly. If what's happening here, God's word spoken read fresh every day and given into the world and community built around that rhythm, encouragement and prayer for one another, if this brings life to you than thank you for being life-giving. There is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning Daily Audio Bible friends this is Kimberly calling from __ first of all I just wanted to welcome any new listeners and just want to know…just wanted you to know that I’ve been praying for you for this new year that you would be truly blessed by this podcast as we…we all are that listen. Along the way you will find that people share wonderful manifestations of the way that this podcast has changed their lives. And, so, I pray that that is…is your case. I…I pray truly that you are blessed and that your relationship with God it grows so much deeper this year than you could ever imagine. Second thing is I just heard Hope calling from the Heartland and I just love your prayer and hope I…I heard about your mom and I wanted to offer my condolences, that I just so appreciate the blessing that you gave of your perspective on her passing. And I often think about what heaven will be like because none of us have seen each other for the most part. I guess at the More gathering and things like that we’ve seen each other’s faces but to a large extent most of us haven’t met or seen each other’s faces but guess what? In heaven we’re gonna know each other and we’re gonna know Hope’s mom. And as I’m driving to work on this beautiful beautiful January morning, I’m just in of the beauty that God has given us on this side of heaven. We had a nor’easter last night and dropped quite a bit of snow and it was a powerful storm and the clouds are low over the town as I drive in the sage brush is covered with snow and it’s just…

Hi DABber family this is Tonja with a J in South Florida and I am so excited. It is January 5th of 2021 and I did it. I did it, I did it, I did it thank you Brian thank you Jill and China. God bless you and your baby girl. I actually did the Bible in a year. And to anyone who thinks you can’t do it just listen and if you…if you forget a week or day…I actually forgot…almost forgot a month because I just was busy with life but I caught up and today I finished the Bible in a year. And I can’t wait I’m already started January with everybody. I am just so happy to be around the campfire and we really our family here. And I did the Bible for the first time in my whole life in the year. I…I’m so excited and even my hubby is getting excited and…and you know…let’s pray to get him listening to this every day as well and…and I’m just…I love the way Brian that you explain what you’re going to say and then you read the Scriptures and then you talk afterwards. It’s very educational. I can’t wait. This is my second year and I’m going nowhere. Stick to everyone. Stick to it. If you fall behind just…no…listen to two or three. I mean lately I’ve been listening to ten a day because I was behind in November and December. And oh I’m just so happy. It is an accomplishment. It was my goal I wanted last year, and I reached it. Thank you very much. I…I love everyone and I love listening to you all and I pray with you all when you pray. I’m just so happy that I’m…I’m crying. How stupid. Anyway…so, have a lovely day and you can do it. If I can do it, you can do it. This is Tonja with a J and have a good day. Bye-bye.

Good morning this is Daniel in Arizona. Good morning family. It is the 6th of January I’m trying into work and I just felt overly compelled by the Holy Spirit to reach out and I’m sorry if I butcher your name. I have some…I do have some hearing problems. So, Zinab in London. I just I heard you call, your first call in to the Daily Audio Bible and I just want to let you know welcome, welcome welcome to this great and wonderful community where we can come together and learn more about Jesus, about the Bible and what…how great it is to be in community with each other with our great Savior. Welcome and I’m just praying for you. My heart goes out to you. And I know that you were saying that you come from a Muslim background and from a lot of stories and that I’ve read and people that I met there could be some…there can be some great rejection. And I just wanted to welcome you with open arms and that we will be continuing, that I encourage everyone in this community to be praying for our…our…our friend here and just encouragement and love. And I just felt so compelled by the Holy Spirit to reach out to you and to know that this is just a wonderful place to be and that we can walk in the freedom of Jesus. And thank you for…for reaching out and may the Lord bless you that may He keep you and as we journey together in 2021.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family. Hallelujah to God and grace and peace be to all of you. I am calling in this morning for our sister Zinab from London to welcome you sister to this community and just tell you that it’s going to be fantastic journey, to encourage you to lift you up and tilt you know that you will be well loved here. Zinab I encourage you to continue in this journey to be faithful to it to God’s word and faithful to the prayer and the prayers of the community. Love you, we encourage you, we look forward to hearing from you, Zinab. So, blessings to you all.

Good morning DAB family its January 6th and this is Amazed by Grace Sally in Massachusetts. Just wanting to wish you all a wonderful blessed new year as we walk in the Lord together. And I was just so blessed by our Christmas party. So good to hear all of your encouragements and just thankful that I can be out of this body, part of this ministry. And today as Brian was introducing the reading, he mentioned how important it is for us to grow in awareness of God’s presence and our dependence on Him. And that just really struck me because that is so true how much we need to be aware. God is always with us He will never forsake us. And I and we are so dependent on His love and grace and His spirit to guide us. So, thank you for that reminder Brian. And I am thankful that we have this ministry of the Daily Audio Bible to encourage and to support each other. Isn’t it wonderful that God made us a body, a body that can support and encourage each other? So, I pray for each of us as we go into the new year that we will grow in our awareness of God’s wonderful loving presence and our total dependence upon Him. And I’m thankful for the call from our sister in London who is a recent Muslim convert. We do support you and we do love you and we’re so thankful that you joined us. We pray for you to grow in your walk with God along with us as we each need to grow. And again, thank you for all those, Brian, Jill who make this ministry possible and each one who puts a log on the fire. Thank you and thank you God.

Hey guys I actually just found the Daily Audio Bible app.  This year I want…one of my things for the new year was that I wanted to read my whole Bible this year and so I found this, and it has just been such a blessing in my life and I am…I’m just so overwhelmed and amazed at how fast God has worked in my life and the amount of love that I feel from this whole community. So, I’d just like to say thank you and I’d like to thank God for kind of showing me and giving me all of you. It’s actually…I’m coming up on my last ever semester of college in a couple of days and I’m already feeling pretty overwhelmed and stressed out about it. So, if anyone wants to take a couple seconds out of their day and just shoot a prayer for me that’d be very appreciated. Just thank you all.

[shanastoryteller]

Saw your post mentioning reading your favorite poems and I was wondering what they were? I've never really liked poems but I really liked that one by Emily Dickson you put in the front of that teen wolf fic so you probably have really good taste in poems, and I've been trying to find some to like.

Good Bones by Maggie Smith

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.Life is short, and I’ve shortened minein a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,a thousand deliciously ill-advised waysI’ll keep from my children. The world is at leastfifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservativeestimate, though I keep this from my children.For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,sunk in a lake. Life is short and the worldis at least half terrible, and for every kindstranger, there is one who would break you,though I keep this from my children. I am tryingto sell them the world. Any decent realtor,walking you through a real shithole, chirps onabout good bones: This place could be beautiful,right? You could make this place beautiful.

~

Because I could not stop for Death (479)

Emily Dickinson

Because I could not stop for Death – He kindly stopped for me – The Carriage held but just Ourselves – And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no hasteAnd I had put awayMy labor and my leisure too,For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children stroveAt Recess – in the Ring – We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain – We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed us – The Dews drew quivering and chill – For only Gossamer, my Gown – My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemedA Swelling of the Ground – The Roof was scarcely visible – The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – ‘tis Centuries – and yetFeels shorter than the DayI first surmised the Horses’ HeadsWere toward Eternity –

~

this one is an old nursery rhyme:

One bright day in the middle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight. They turned their backs and faced each other, Drew their swords and shot the other. One was blind and the other couldn’t see, So they chose a fool for their referee. A mute eyewitness screamed with fright.A cripple danced to see the sight. A deaf policeman heard the noise.He came and shot the two dead boys.A paralyzed donkey passing by,Kicked the copper in the eye, And knocked him through a rubber wall, Into a ditch and drowned them all.If you don’t believe this lie is true,Ask the blind man. He saw it too.

~

She swearsshe will nevergive birthto a daughter.Won’t evenplant a garden.— Adira Bennett

~

Do not go gentle into that good night

Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had forked no lightning theyDo not go gentle into that good night.Good men, the last wave by, crying how brightTheir frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,Do not go gentle into that good night.Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sightBlind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.And you, my father, there on the sad height,Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.Do not go gentle into that good night.Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

~

My mouth is a fire escape.The words coming outdon’t care that they are naked.There is something burning in here.

— Andrea Gibson

~

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

By Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weepI am not there; I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow,I am the diamond glints on snow,I am the sun on ripened grain,I am the gentle autumn rain.When you awaken in the morning’s hushI am the swift uplifting rushOf quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die.

~

Never regret thy fall,O Icarus of the fearless flightFor the greatest tragedy of them allIs never to feel the burning light

— Oscar Wilde

~

Annabel Lee BY EDGAR ALLAN POEIt was many and many a year ago,   In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know   By the name of Annabel Lee; And this maiden she lived with no other thought   Than to love and be loved by me. I was a child and she was a child,   In this kingdom by the sea, But we loved with a love that was more than love—   I and my Annabel Lee— With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven   Coveted her and me. And this was the reason that, long ago,   In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling   My beautiful Annabel Lee; So that her highborn kinsmen came   And bore her away from me, To shut her up in a sepulchre   In this kingdom by the sea. The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,   Went envying her and me— Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,   In this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came out of the cloud by night,   Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee. But our love it was stronger by far than the love   Of those who were older than we—   Of many far wiser than we— And neither the angels in Heaven above   Nor the demons down under the sea Can ever dissever my soul from the soul   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side   Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,   In her sepulchre there by the sea—   In her tomb by the sounding sea.

~

self-parodies & psalms for shit-scared twenty-somethings by gyzm

is perhaps my favorite poem and just gut punches me whenever i read it but they are a tumblr person who’s poem deserves more attention so please reblog/comment on their poem directly :)

1.

most of what i’ve learned in the first half of my twenties is to embrace statistics i’m not smart enough to verify; theones about black holes and how much of the universe is justempty space: between atoms and from one planet to another.it makes it easier, to stare at my overcrowded sink and thinkthat to get from the floor of this filthy kitchen to the neareststar would take more lifetimes than i could borrow or steal.maybe there is a single withered raspberry molding beneath every single plate i own but in the scheme of things that’s insignificant, a non-event in the life of a non-event, and so canwait until tomorrow, when this hangover is gone.

2.

please, god, don’t let me die before i turn thirty. i’ve heardthat that’s when it all comes together, and i know those’re allfish stories, probably, the lies of those who need to pretend justlike me, but hell, i choose to believe. because the thing is, god, if idie tomorrow, a few years from now, i can pretty much guarantee it’ll be in torn underpants, on a bad hair day, in a bra that doesn’t fitthe way i’d like it to; please, god, don’t let me die before i work outhow to drag myself out of bed in time to dry my hair every morning. i’vebeen promising myself for years i’d learn to get off the couch on monday nights and do laundry, god, okay, i don’t mind living in dirty jeans but i don’t want to die in them, i’m begging, i thank you, i’m sorry, amen.

3.

there should be a page at the back of every baby book thatsays “baby’s first moment of cold realization that they are an gigantic shitheaded asshole.” it’s important, as milestones go. iknow it’s not as glamorous as a first word or a graduation but i’dargue that developmentally, it means at least as much — god knows i put more thought into the bleak portrait of myself at two a.m., staring haggard out from the filmy surface of my mirror, than i did in my ham-fisted infant attempts to say my father’s name. it would benice, is all, to have a warning, to flip through pages of childhood accomplishments and see that placeholder, at the end; to know that the future was coming, inevitably, to make dipshits of us all.

4.

don’t put liquid soap in the dishwasher. don’t put your vibrator in the dishwasher. don’t forget that your mother is coming over until fifteen minutes before she shows up and put every scrap ofevidence that you are a disaster zone living underneath a veneerof overdone eye makeup and slapdash dreams of better tomorrowsin the dishwasher. don’t put your grandmother’s china, that vase you bought at the flea market, a bowl half-full of aged guacamole,in the dishwasher. on the mornings that will keep coming — when the shower does not seem like enough, when you can feel your long history of mistakes pockmarking your face and oozing out from beneath your armpits — don’t put yourself in the dishwasher.

5.

the human body replaces skin cells so quickly that two weeks from now, every part of me will be brand new, and i will still feel as though i have spent my first quarter-century on this planet touching both too much and not enough. that feels profound atthis moment but the human body replaces humiliations fastereven than skin; two weeks from now i will remember saying this,stare at the ceiling above my bed and think: no one has ever been as big of an asshole as you are. there are billions of stars in our galaxy and billions of galaxies in our universe and my ceiling is the only clean part of my apartment. i know it’s a fish story, but c’mon, god, okay — i’m just asking to believe i’ll make it to thirty better dressed; less selfish.

[purplesurveys]

747

Have you ever worn those Drunk Goggles? Uh no. I’ve never heard of those either. Which decade before the 90s had the best makeup trends? I’ve never really paid attention to makeup. I do love how actresses looked like in the 40s and 50s though, if that counts. Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? I only get upset if someone’s views implies impinging on basic human rights, like saying that women can’t get abortions or if drug addicts deserve to die. Otherwise you do you dude. Does it bug you when long socks are constantly falling down? Yeaaah I had a pair of loose socks in high school that would constantly fall down whenever I walked and I hated them. I always forgot to stop wearing them completely. Rodeos -- entertaining, or cruel? I can honestly tell you that I don’t know what goes on in one of them. I’m not even sure if rodeo refers to a sport, a physical area, or an event.

Why can't politicians debate politely? Because most of them aren’t even supposed to be fucking politicians, if you’re also from where I live. Who is the best female rocker? Why? Joan Jett, partly because she’s one of the very few female rockstars I know but also because I know she’s the best one out of all the ones I know of. I love her work both for The Runaways and the Blackhearts. Can you even taste a difference between Cheez Its and Cheez Nips? I’ve only had Cheez Its. What about between Pepsi and Coke or Sprite and 7Up? No, all soda tastes nasty to me. Do you care what kind of toilet paper you use? Not really. What color of roses do you find the prettiest? Gonna go the basic route and say red. It just feels the most romantic. Which celebrity has the cutest butt? I don’t go looking at their butts and thinking which one is the cutest D: Do you still have any decent arcades nearby? Yeah we have an arcade chain called Timezone and all of the ones I’ve been to are really fun and entertaining. Gab and I will sometimes go to one after school for some stress relief. After a holiday, do you go to the store to get candy on sale? No. That doesn’t happen here and eh, I don’t really like candy. Did Marilyn Monroe look better before or after cosmetic surgery? I didn’t even know she had surgery, but I’ve always thought she was attractive. Bullfighters who get gored kind of had it coming, right? Yes. I’ve never really felt bad for them even if I see them being tossed around like fucking paper. Don’t they agitate the bulls on purpose? I get stressed out just thinking about it. If you make surveys, do you care what people rate them? Have you ever accidentally found porn when looking for something else? Maybe once or twice in the past, but it was unremarkable enough for me not to remember them until today lol. Ever run into those 'celebrity lookalike porn' blogs? No? If you're not religious, is the Bible basically just an old collection of short stories? Not all are short stories. Some are psalms, songs, prophecies, etc. But they are short stories, psalms, songs, and prophecies that I don’t believe in. Do you think religious leaders just like to manipulate people? Yes. At least the ones I come across do. The amazing priest from today’s mass livestream was bitching in his homily about why liquor stores continue to be open but masses couldn’t be held. Uh genius, maybe it’s because masses are public gatherings, and because you never see a hundred people at a time gathered in a liquor store? Couldn’t resist an eyeroll when I heard it. Why do so many fans with OTP's insist that their ship is real? Oh my god OTP, I haven’t heard that term since 2013... sometimes they just like the idea of their ship being together forever and ever and it makes them happy so whatever, let them fangirl/boy. This was me with AJPunk many years ago hahaha; we were just lucky enough to witness them become canon in real life. Even when the writers (or real people that they ship) tell them it isn't? ^ Same reason. Some people are happy from simply fantasizing their OTPs. It should be ok as long as it doesn’t strain the relationship between the shipped people, which is exactly what happened to Louis and Harry of 1D lol. Do you draw fanart of anything? No. Do annoying city kids ever loiter outside your library and harass people? No? That’s so specific lmao. Do you like to hang out at your local library? We don’t have local libraries because our government has never prioritized public spaces such as those, and parks. We only have malls. On that subject, do you like the smell of books? New ones, yeah. I can’t stand the smell of much older books. What's on your Reading List, so-to-speak, right now? Read any great non-fiction books lately? No. But thanks for reminding me I downloaded a bunch of wrestling autobiographies last year that I completely forgot about until this moment. Maybe I’ll start on one of those one of these days. What do you like on your burger? Caramelized onions, special sauces, brioche buns, sometimes jalapeños, sometimes bacon. What do you NOT like on your burger? Tomatoes and lettuce. Do you like 'loose meat' sandwiches? I’ve never heard of those. Have you ever heard of the restaurant Maid Rite? Never have. What is the best thing to put in a grilled cheese (other than cheese)? I don’t really have grilled cheese sandwiches. Homemade tomato soup, or just out of a can? Hate tomato soup. Favorite thing to see in museums? Artifacts. I love all museums, but I enjoy and appreciate history museums more than any other kind. Have you ever seen an unwrapped mummy in person? I haven’t. What things have people shamed you for? Liking wrestling, mostly. I was also shamed for my name and the way I looked (I had really short hair) as a kid, which is why I struggled to like my name until I got to college which was the first time people didn’t make a fuss about my name and even told me how much they like it. Do you always reply to private messages? (On any website) Not all. If I don’t recognize who sent it, I wouldn’t bother to reply. What device do you seem to always be buying batteries for? We don’t really go out to buy batteries anymore. Most of our gadgets are rechargeable. What's worse -- snow, or all the mud after it melts? Can’t relate. Are there any 'adult stores' in your area? I don’t think so. If there are, they’re hidden enough that I don’t know about them. Have you been inside of them/shopped there before? Yeah we went to one in Metrowalk. It was fun but I mostly felt uncomfortable hahaha. Do you watch The Masked Singer? Any theories? No. Favorite Alfred Hitchcock film? Haven’t watched any. I tried watching Vertigo once but if I remember correctly, I stopped because my copy didn’t have subtitles and I couldn’t follow the plot lol. Do you like Funko Pop figurines? Sure. I’m much less enthusiastic about them now for sure, but back in high school I used to want to start collecting them so bad. If so, do you have any? Which ones would you like to have? No but I’ve bought one as a gift once. I got Gabie the Funko figurine of Dana Scully from The X-Files for Christmas 2015. Which ones do you think they should make (but haven't yet)? I dunno if they’ve made ones for them but the cast of Queer Eye should definitely get their own.

[mws7x70]

mirror, mirror, hanging on the wall.

I have often struggled with what I see in the mirror. my weight has fluctuated over the years, and I often look back at older pictures of myself and feel envy of my former self. but then I learn to appreciate where I’m at, and I still decide that I like what I see generally speaking. mirrors are fascinating to me. so is the subject of identity. one of my favorite books as a child to me was Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking glass.

in Alice Through The Looking Glass, Alice steps through a mirror into another world where she encounters Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, Humpty Dumpty, the Red Queen, the White Queen, a Lion and a Unicorn, the White Knight, and other colorful characters, many from previous nursery stories, or so I’ve been told. she also encounters a large chess board, travels across Wonderland as a Pawn, and finally becomes a Queen herself before returning home. something about all this seems figurative to me. doesn’t it mean that stepping into a mirror is like stepping into your psyche, examining your interior self? coming close to discovering your identity? doesn't it seem that we are all on some kind of massive chess board of identity map discovery that involves upgrades and promotions? is it deliberate that all this self discovery happens to Alice inside a mirror? the psychological implications of Alice’s story alone amaze me, but the subject of identity is not just a psychological subject but also carries spiritual meaning. the Bible also contains a couple of mirror passages that I enjoy.

the Apostle Paul, for example, speaking on the concept of love, said, famously, “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

in this passage Paul compared our limited knowledge to a mirror, and pointed to the future as containing more than what a dim mirror can show. he described knowledge that can be obtained fully versus knowledge that is limited, like a full face to face friendship versus a two dimensional image. this verse points to something going on in the soul that transcends the two dimensional space, similar to Alice’s breaking through the mirror, or trascending the mirror iself. to put it in blunt spiritual terms, this imagery I think symbolizes (perhaps prophetically, even, from Lewis Carroll) the pursuing of greater revelation (perhaps from God, but also self-revelation or self-discovery) all of which involves themes of breaking barriers, going after your dreams, going through something difficult or seemingly impossible, going into something fearful or challenging, discovering something new and deeper about yourself - finally ending in a fuller revelation or complete understanding of something that surpasses the prior inferior revelation. so in Alice in Wonderland it begins with the question of her youth, “when will I be old enough to have tea with the rest?” and later after her adventures are over (including the Looking Glass) and she has already lived through so much and been pronounced Queen in Wonderland, it ends with the idea that “yes, I am old enough for tea” now. to take the topic of you looking at your body in the mirror and being unhappy with what you see, it’s asking yourself, “do I still have value even though I look this way?”, “do I have just as much value as if I looked a different or better way”, “what is a better way?”, “what can I do to get there but also accept who I am today?”. the Bible also says:

"For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does." (James 1:25-26).

this Scripture more explicitly compares the word of God to being like a mirror, or a window into your self, your identity. the text is supposed to reveal to you more of who you are. the Bible has references that can be taken to mean that we are His beloved (Romans 1:7), that there is no flaw in us (Song of Solomon 4:7), that we have a destiny to be “without spot or wrinkle” (Ephesians 5:27), that we are “holy in his sight, without blemish, free from accusation” (Colossians 1:22) and many other similar passages. but like Paul’s dim mirror analogy, we can also be too easily pleased or content with a two dimensional determination of the Bible’s text, instead of investigating further. we can choose to settle for inferior revelation. we can read things at face value, just like we do our bodies sometimes looking in the mirror, and we only see the negative, such as passages about hell or sin; or, in terms of our bodies, blemishes and weight and wrinkles. and we can internalize shame-based conclusions too easily, both with our bodies and our understanding of our Bibles. this doesn’t mean the Bible is bad or uninspired. the Bible is inspired, but our interpretation may not be. we must learn to go beyond our limited thinking, to go beyond our first impressions of what we see in the mirror, go through the proverbial mirror, and see what’s inside the text, around the text, through the text, what the Spirit of the text is, and decide how to view the text more Grace-fully. just like we look at our physical reflection and we see both our image and the noise in our heads about our image, we need to remember that Christ in us helps us with the noise. He is the source of our discernment, not our agreement or compliance or acceptance of a face value and possibly inferior or mistaken or ill-advised interpretation of the text. God is love. love transcends all dimensions and breaks all barriers. forgiveness itself is a permittance of past sins, a letting go of blame and condemnation. this blog covers a lot of overlapping topics and is a hodge podge of ideas around the subject of mirrors and identity. think of it as a visit through the rabbit hole of my mind. I think my favorite topic here is that I happen to believe that fifth dimensional love, love that is outside our dimension, otherwise known as the Spirit, is the best filter to wear when you read the Bible or the word of God. the Spirit of love and the permission of grace helps you discern what’s good, beneficial, or unbeneficial about what you think you’re reading. it helps you eat the meat and spit out the bones. that brings me to my last reference:

"I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness— the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." - (Colossians 1:27).

so the journey of stepping into the mirror of our identity leads us to the happy conclusion that Christ is right there inside of us, composing a narrative on our soul, a personal gospel, that is woven with our hearts, the text of Scripture, His heart, our journey, our story, along with the harmony of the Spirit and the melody of love. the Spirit speaks through the text, as the text is inspired, but is not bound by it. “the letter kills, but the Spirit brings life,” as 2 Corinthians 3:6 says. and the potential “dimness” of Scripture can be solved or helped by the presence of this love abiding inside of us, which is Christ himself. and if Christ is a mirror to ourselves, and Scripture is also a mirror, then we can properly interpret the mirror of Scripture through the lens of who Christ is inside each of us, using both subjective and objective methods at times. we all have a personal gospel - a personal Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John story that differs at stages with each other. with this knowledge we can accept how the Spirit shows us who we are in the text. this is all a long, overly-detailed description of the search for true identity. the “interior castle,”

as St. Teresa of Avila would have called it, of the soul or human heart. we are all traveling through the mercies of the Wonderland of our hearts, subject to its whims and ebbs and flows, sometimes meeting nice pleasant thoughts, other times meeting scary or dangerous thoughts. we are searching for completeness within our circumstances or surroundings or struggles until we finally discover who we are. and we are learning that we too are able to be promoted to be kings and queens of a personal castle within the mirror of the heart. so now when I look in the mirror - yes, I am beginning to like what I see. and to the famous question that Snow White’s stepmother asked, “mirror mirror, hanging on the wall, could you tell me who is the fairest of them all?” I might soon with confidence be able to say, “I am.” why? not because I am so special, though I believe I am. it’s because Christ in me is “fairer than the sons of men.”(Psalm 45:2).

[unholyhelbiglinked]

The Mitchell Incident | Chapter 20

CHECK OUT THE STORY FROM THE START HERE

The crystal shattered into a million pieces, a loud and unforgivable noise rocking through the study, its simple atmosphere breaking along with it. There always seemed to be an orange haze against the mahogany creating strong shadows that stretched close to a maroon carpet, the glass littering wood and fabric.

Beca drew in a long breath, sitting on the corner of the desk. She was propped up, leg folded along half of the table- a glass filled with amber liquid rested halfway to her lips, ice solid and edged as it clinked. She didn't flinch, instead lifting a pointed eyebrow at her mother.

Blair was always known to have a short temper, one that would go off at the most inopportune times. It was almost as if her labored silence was worse than if she would yell. Beca had become used to the outbursts at a young age, always picking up the pieces and sweeping up the glass. This time, she kept her steady stance.

She raised her own glass to her lips, taking a long and stinging gulp of bourbon. Blair's chest heaving as she steadied herself on the large stone mantle. Her jaw was clenched, grey eyes filled with an indescribable anger. "How dare you question my intentions?" She hissed lowly, knowing her daughter could hear her.

"Your intentions are blurred." Beca swallowed back the bitter taste that coated her tongue. She watched her mother with purpose- the usually composed woman was beside herself. Mumbling under her breath as she ran her hands over the top of her pleated pants. Like she had been cut by the shards, and the blood that ran thick wouldn't just leave a residue. She healed, she was able to regenerate faster than a human. There was no need to worry.

The brunette grimaced, setting her own beverage aside. She had lost her craving, staring down at the sprinkled glass that pushed into the plush carpet.

"Do you forget yourself?" Blair said.

Beca raised a brow at this. Had she forgotten her place? Back when they had stronger heartbeats, it was Blair that she feared. Not her father, her father was a pushover, her father would bend to the woman's stare and cave in at the mere mention of discontent. Then she died.

Beca remembered her funeral. It had rained characteristically that day. The air was cold and the soft soil smelled musty and sharp. She had hugged her coat around her frame and stared at the blades of grass that bent under the will of freezing perspiration. She clung to Jesse, her fingers intertwined with his as they listened to the low psalms the priest repeated. It was no use, no one was listening. She remembered feeling guilty that day. Not because her mother had perished, but because of the relief she was met with when she did.

"I don't believe I have," her voice was steady, the sour taste of alcohol still lodged in her throat.

"You turned her."

"No, I saved her."

It almost hurt to say. She had saved Chloe, but she had also doomed her to a life of cold complexity that the young girl couldn't' quite understand just yet. Sure, immortality was shiny at first. It was invigorating and filled with power- but the novelty would wear off in a few centuries when her family grows old and her friends get start having grandchildren. Friends, she can no longer contact because no amount of moisturizer could cover up her unchanged looks.

"By blatantly disobeying me." She drew in a careful breath "what gives you the right?"

Beca couldn't stop the scoff that fell from her lips as simple as a child dropping their sweets in a grocery store. It was left covered in lint or whatever wasn't swept up from the day before. The candy was still there, sure, but it was impossible to recover, not without some type of disease attached and simmering.

"What gives me the right?" Beca stood, setting the glass down carefully on the mahogany table. It was imported, she liked it. There was glass under her feet that crunched as she walked so close to her mother, she could practically taste the blood of her last meal, smell the soil from something more. "You wouldn't be here if it weren't for me."

"I would have found a way."

"Right, and through who? Your little witchy pet Aurum? Because mother I hate to break it to you but she's near useless when it comes to resurrecting the dead." Beca swallowed, trying to even out her anger. "It took me nearly 130 years to get you back and you want to what? Bare your fangs and forget your control?"

Blair studied her. The woman had once brought great fear to Beca but now she looked frail in the fires shattered light. Her cheeks were sunken in and there was dirt under her nails that Beca had a hard time looking past. She swallowed loudly and rolled her shoulders back almost like her blouse didn't' fit correctly. It didn't.

She raised her hand, much like she did when Beca was young, preemptive to strike with an open palm. Beca grasped her wrist a low edge of a growl on her lips. "Chloe is untouched, do you understand me?" She squeezed, applying pressure "So is Jesse, and so am I."

Blair watched with widened grey eyes and Beca dropped the woman's hand and picked her glass back up from the table, tipping her head back and swallowing the alcohol in one fail swoop of the tongue. She walked away from the fire and the woman who had the power to control it, fingers trembling in a dark rush. "Clean up your mess, please."

Beca let the door slam behind her as she pressed her back against the cold mahogany, trying to catch her breath. Maybe it was the dangerous amount of alcohol in her system or the strange leverage of nearly a century on her mother but something pushed her to fight back- to warn her against hurting the newly turned, to protect Chloe Beale of all people.

The flyer had been a pumpkin orange, noticeable and ugly against the brown telephone poles and muddy brick walls that framed Barden. Most of them had left a neon stain behind as the rain and the soon fallen snow washed away the thought of a once prominent problem. Now an ugly orange flyer was blocking the view of her chemistry text.

She recognized that face, that simple and innocent expression that hadn't been done much justice with the schools' printer. It listed his height, and weight, and what he was last seen wearing. A black logo t-shirt that had soaked up the blood better than she expected.

Her throat tightened at the memory as she inhaled sharply and slammed the book shut so she wouldn't have to look at it anymore. It would loud enough to catch a few glares from students trying to focus on studying. Chloe's eyes met icy blue ones.

"Bree?"

The blonde looked hurt, ravished by her own emotion. Chloe hadn't quite learned how to pick up on heartbeats yet or smell emotion like Beca said she would eventually master, but she didn't' need her newfound abilities to see the hurt radiating from her friend. From her roommate.

"She said you weren't dangerous." She whispered harshly, eyes wet "Beca said you wouldn't' hurt anyone. But you are aren’t you?"

Chloe was fast, the librarian glancing narrowing her stare as she abandoned her textbook and bag, standing with a swift edge. Aubrey wanted to fight against her, and she did for the most part, the smaller woman dragging her out of the glass-paned doors and into the nearest bathroom. It reeked of antiseptic and lemon sanitizer. "Get off me! You killed him!"

"Aubrey," Chloe tried to edge her away from fear, gripping her shoulders as she pressed the woman's back against the cold tile, her fingers gripping into fabric. "I need you to stop struggling, I didn't-"

"You did." Her voice was defeated and her words breathless as her chest heaved "It's all they could talk about in my psychology class. About how everyone seemed to forget about Alex. How he vanished in the middle of the night and you-"

Her throat tightened alarmingly as she studied the deep pain of emotion written on Chloe' expression. "It's fucking fuzzy but you killed him. You… you were covered in blood and Beca did something to me. I don't remember." She sobbed still in Chloe's arms as she sunk to the cold bathroom floor, the vampire moved with her. "I don't remember."

She had seen Aubrey like this once, only once.

Chloe had gone home for the holidays three years back, and so had Aubrey. She was an emergency contact and always had been, her phone ringing in the middle of the third Christmas movie. She had excused herself from home and driven in silence to the bar that had called her- the one that was three seconds away from phoning law enforcement.

Aubrey tearfully explained the departure of her father broken down to her on Christmas eve and the way everything hurt, everything. It felt like her blood had boiled and the alcohol put out the flame and if Aubrey Posen had any type of control or seminice it was gone because her whole world was gone. Chloe held her in that bar bathroom too.

"I don't think I can handle this, Chloe." Aubrey sniffed, having quieted as Chloe kept her distance, keeping one hand on the woman's knee to steady her but nothing more. She watched with sullen eyes and a quiet lipped expression. "Y-you're all I have here and you're dead."

"I'm not dead."

"Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that?" Aubrey sniffed "If all of you wasn't lost in that cemetery it was when you murdered a kid in cold blood."

She knew it was harsh, her words stinging like a whip to raw skin on her back. It would leave a gash and would sting to the touch, but it was nothing she didn't deserve. Chloe let out a long sigh and crossed her legs in front of her, facing Aubrey as her hands rested in her lap. They were quiet for a few moments, both listening to the slow drip of the facets.

"I'm never going to be the same person you helped drink out of the water fountain" She started quietly "Or the one you shoved Ryan Heady on the playground for." Aubrey blew out a breath of air at the memory and sniffed, dragging her hand against the base of her nose. "But that doesn't mean I'm gone, Aubrey. I'm not."

Aubrey didn't' say anything.

"I'm going to make mistakes, and some are going to be bigger than others. A lot bigger. But in truth? I don't know if I can do this either. Not without you."

[tailahjanbash]

Perfectly Imperfect

Hi I’m Tailah, and I just spent the past half hour crying in my room.

I don’t know if you’re like me, but I have a tendency to ignore my emotions and bottle them up. I just ignore them and focus on the positive. As a result I’m generally super chill, happy, and easy going most of the time.

That other 5%, well, it can get pretty ugly.

Something as simple as a snarky comment, crazy look, or a song on the radio can send me over the edge and cue the waterworks.

I have no idea why I’m this way, but maybe you relate.

Anyways tonight was one of those nights and this time the frustration came from broken relationships.

I found myself going through a mental list of all the broken friendships I’ve had and how broken they left me.

When we allow our minds go off in a frenzy in moments of sadness, panic, or fear, this leaves the door wide open for the enemy to come in and feed us lies.

And so the lies started flooding in.

“None of your friends care about you. They just want to use you!”

“You will never find someone who loves you for you.”

The tears wouldn’t let up. I was torn up. Have you ever been so sad it just feels like an insanely heavy blanket is suffocating you and you can’t shake it for the life of you? Yeah. It was that feeling.

And then I felt the still soft voice of Holy Spirit remind me—

Tailah, you are putting your identity in relationships. That is why you’re so upset right now. You feel that brokenness and emptiness because you haven’t invited me into that area of your heart.

I repented and He responded again:

You can’t be upset or angry at these people. They are looking for anyone and anything to use because they are trying to fill the voids in their hearts. Voids that I need to fill. They cause heartache because they don’t know any better. You were never meant to carry this pain. You were never meant to carry this cross. Jesus carried it so you wouldn’t have to. I look at you and I see the cross. I look at you and see “It is Finished”

Lately He has been doing a work in my heart and sometimes I fall short of his plans and purposes for me. Sometimes I slip, I go backwards, and I lack faith in the promises and directions He’s given me. Whenever I realize this, I have a tendency to shame myself and feel unworthy of God’s love and plan for me. I feel dirty. Unclean. Undeserving and ungrateful.

But that’s not what He sees.

When things are healing, there is a high chance for infection. It is easy for the wound to open up if it is rubbed the wrong way. This is normal, because wounds are fragile. But that does not mean the white blood cells are not working in the body and healing the afflicted area. They heal in their own given time with proper care.

So you see, whenever God is doing a work in us, and we fall short and sin, he doesn’t throw in the towel and give up on us.

If a baby is learning how to walk, I seriously doubt the baby is going to spring up and start sprinting around the house. The baby will crawl, take a few steps, lose their balance and tumble down. But the father and mother don’t get angry and punish the baby for falling.

If our earthly imperfect parents understand these processes, how much more does our perfect Father in heaven?

He doesn’t have an impossible standard for you. He doesn’t expect it. He reminded me tonight that when I feel unworthy he sees perfection.

One of my favorite stories about Jesus is found in John chapter 8.

A woman was caught in adultery. Having sex with someone who was not her husband. The religious leaders brought her to Jesus and asked if she should be stoned. (That is how the ancient laws dealt with adultery and other serious sins.) Funny how they only brought the woman, isn’t it? No one asked about the man.

Anyways, Jesus says his famous, “Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.” And all the woman’s accusers leave one by one. And Jesus looks her in the eyes, and tells her that he does not condemn her either, and to “Go and sin no more.”

He does not judge or cast stones when we meet his standards with a sincere and repentant heart.

Repent simply means to turn away. We apologize to the Father by turning from our old ways and following His ways. When we sincerely want His will for our lives instead of ours.

Being a Christian does not mean you are sin-free and perfect by keeping a checklist. But it does mean that you are free and already loved perfectly because of Jesus.

So right now, as you are reading this, going through whatever battles and pains in the depths of your heart of hearts, rest in knowing that you don’t have to keep the facade. You don’t have to keep carrying this cross and feel guilty whenever the weight of it is too much to bear and you fall short of His glory.

He looks at you and sees his own righteousness. All because of love. He couldn’t stand to have heaven without you. He loves you recklessly, wildly, and extravagantly. It doesn’t make sense. His love is so vast, so deep and wide, even though we can’t measure up. I don’t think any preacher or theologian could ever begin to understand what we did to deserve this love or why it is poured out so lavishly upon us. But rest in it tonight. Rest in your freedom and deliverance from carrying your own burdens, weights, and demons. Allow him to sing over you and remind you of his faithfulness and goodness. All we have to do is ask him to take these afflictions and repent for not trusting in His process.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Psalm 51:7

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Psalm 51:10

Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Hebrews 9:14

the blood of Christ will purify our consciences from sinful deeds so that we can worship the living God. For by the power of the eternal Spirit, Christ offered himself to God as a perfect sacrifice for our sins.

Prayer:

Jesus, thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for loving me, dying for me, and for cleansing me and making me new. I thank you, because you say that in You, I am a new creation—that I am dead to my old-self and my old ways. God, I ask that you would continue to lead me along your path for my life. I submit my ways and my plans to yours and invite you into every area in my heart and say, “Have you way, Lord!” In Jesus name, amen.

Songs:

Extravagant—Bethel Music

Isn’t He—The Belonging Co.

Mercy—Bethel Music

[apicturewithasmile]

LOST rewatch (season 2):

[follow the entire rewatch-tag here]

episode 1 – Man of Science, Man of Faith:

It’s Desmond tiiiiiime!!!! Maaaaake your own kind of muuuusiiiiiic!!!

>:

OH MY GOD Jack’s flashback hair is horrible.

Desmond’s accent alone is worth watching the show but honestly, his whole character is a total game changer. He’s the personified sci-fi element and I McFriggin love it!

 episode 2 – Adrift:

Big feels for Sawyer here

Does this count as the first on-island flashback when we see John climbing down the hatch? Because we already saw what happened after that in the previous episode… I guess it’s only a mini flashback but still… it is…

Awwww it’s the Dharma sharky

With every Michael flashback I hate his ex even more.

How did everything that’s happened so far only happen in 44 days?!?! It feels like they gone through enough drama for a whole year.

“box man”

episode 3 – Orientation:

Katey Sagal <3

Kate discovering the real important shit – first the chocolate, now the guns

“You needed a father figure and I needed a kidney.” Fuck you Anthony Cooper.

“Why do you find it so hard to believe?” – “Why do you find it so easy?” – “IT’S NEVER BEEN EASY!!!” --- you tell him, John!!!

episode 4 – Everybody Hates Hugo:

I missed Rose!

….Hurley’s boss at the fast food restaurant… ain’t that the same guy who bullied John at the box company? Did I ever notice that before?

episode 5 – …And Found:

Jin’s hair growing longer is all I ever needed for my inner peace.

That Sun + John scene in her garden :’)

I forgot how good the score of that show is. Suck me right up with the feels!

episode 6 – Abandoned:

Oh nooo… that the episode where Shannon dies? Please don’t!!!

I can never understand what it is Ghost Walt is saying to Shannon

John holding the baby *external screaming*

I’ll forever be bitter that they killed Shannon off – all the missed potential for character development

episode 7 – The Other 48 Days:

It’s Nathan Ingram looking like Indiana Jones.

Is it ever explained what the Arrow Station was for?

It’s so annoying that the place Ana killed Goodwin isn’t the same place where Jin finds his corpse in the jungle.

episode 8 – Collision:

Kate winning against Jack at golf is what I’m here for.

I wish Ana Lucia and Sayid had gotten more scenes together after that

“What good would it be to kill you if we’re both already dead?”

That reunion scene of Rose & Bernard and Sun & Jin is soooooo kitschy, I love it

episode 9 – What Kate Did:

Petition for Daniel Daw Kim to be topless more often

I… didn’t remember Sawyer fever-mumbles to Jack that he loves Kate

Ah yes, it’s the black horsey episode

Shannon’s funeral :’( whyyyyyy?????

“Boy, when you say beginning you mean… beginning.”

I’m trying to figure out who cut out part of the Orientation video… was it Kelvin?

Kate’s dad, who’s a very high ranking soldier: “I don’t have murder in my heart.” Me: …..sure, Jan.

“Don’t mistake coincidence for fate.” Mr. Eko and John could have had sooo many intriguing conversations; it’s a pity they had to write him out.

episode 10 – The 23rd Psalm:

I don’t like the whole drug plot but that’s probably because that means more plot for Charlie… like… don’t get me wrong: I like the backstory, but not the new found drama with Charlie

Smokey in his whole glory. That scene is so breath taking, I love it.

episode 11 – The Hunting Party:

 I had forgotten the whole “Michael locks John and Jack up in the armory”-bit

And Jack and Locke actually taking a button-shift together? That’s programmed trouble.

Fuck you Jack! Take Kate with you! You’ve known her for…. What? Over 50 days? You know she won’t stay behind. You’re really no good judge of character, are you?

funny how John is so curious about Sawyer’s name… kinds foreshadowing to the whole Anthony Cooper connection as if John already felt it somehow

Geronimo Jackson

episode 12 – Fire + Water:

 I find it interesting that they chose a + symbol for the title instead of “and” or an ampersand.

Charlie’s parents’ accents are… bad.

“Now Locke’s your friend, eh?” oh shut the fuck up Charlie!!!

Hurley as Jesus on Charlie’s dream is foreshadowing

The difference between Charlie and John is that John is protective over Claire and Aaron whereas Charlie is possessive.

 “[Kate’s] hot, [Jack’s] hot” – Ana Lucia, confirmed bisexual.

YAAAAS!!! Hit the bastard, John! You show him!!!!

episode 13 – The Long Con:

 “You wanna break seven virgin Marys? Be my guest! But I’m superstitious.”

Yunjin Kim is the only person on earth that can make the colour orange look good to me

Seriously… I didn’t remember why exactly I dislike Charlie so much but season 2 reminds me episode by episode.

episode 14 – One Of Them:

 IT’S HAPPENING! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!!!!

I’m so here for every scene between Sayid and Danielle

Amazing “arm waving through a tent” acting @Michael Emerson!!!

“My name is Henry Gale, I’m from Minnesota.” LIIIIIIAAAAAARRRR!!!

I think the first time I watched it I was so excited about Michael Emerson that I didn’t notice the guy who’s talking to Sayid in the next scene is Kelvin.

The first time John sees his future island husband… awwwww :’)

Funny how at first John doesn’t believe Ben’s act but later he’s like “tell me all the lies, I’ll believe you anything, my dear!”

“Why would you travel [in a hot air balloon]?” – “Because I was rich.” Has any line in the entire show ever been that real?

I have trouble believing that Jack is physically stronger than John.

The first time we see the hieroglyphs on the timer.

episode 15 – Maternity Leave:

Alex!!! My pretty little child!!!

Oh my sassy dear rat boy

And creepy Ethan is back.

Mr. Eko: *cuts his beard off* – Not Henry Gale: Okay, wtf?

“Are you the genius or are you the guy who’s feeling like he’s always living in the shadow of the genius?” Ben you little asshole!

episode 16 – The Whole Truth:

Daniel Dae Kim shirtless again – thanks for answering my prayers

Terry O’Quinn gets sexier the scruffier he is

Does Sun realise she’s pregnant this early?!?!?!

Okay John just totally took a glance at Jack’s dick after he was getting out of the shower.

“Jack and Locke are a little too busy worrying about Locke and Jack.”

Oh riiiight, Kate doesn’t know about Not Henry Gale

The fact that Ana Lucia and Sayid get along okayish fills my heart with so much joy but then I remember she’s gonna be dead in like… 2 episodes and I hate that.

“Men reject their prophets and slay them but they love their martyrs and honour those whom they have slain. So what’s the difference between a martyr and a prophet?”

episode 17 – Lockdown:

The first time Ben yells “Jaaawwwn!”

There’s also more and more Emerchesthair going on and I’m here for it!!!

“How about you put your mangos where your mouth is?”

Anthony Cooper you fucking asshole.

John just found the most inappropriate time to propose to someone

“You came back!” – “Did you think I was gonna leave you here?!”

episode 18 – Dave:

I wish Hurley’s story wasn’t focussing on his weight to much

John putting in a good word for Not Henry Gale is my vibe!

Never mind… bondage Ben is MY VIBE!!!

“God doesn’t know how long we’ve been here, John. He can’t see this island any better than the rest of the world can.” --- that’s one of the most underrated lines in the entire show I think.

episode 19 – S.O.S.:

Moooore chesthair action!!!

I love that Rose and Bernard just fairly recently met and haven’t been together for like 30 years already.

episode 20 – Two For The Road:

Ugh is that the Ana Lucia/Christian Shephard episode?? I’m always in for more daddy Shephard.

Strangulation really is Ben’s go to kill method, isn’t it?

“I was coming for you.” – you sure were, my guy. You sure were.

episode 21 - ? :

“the artist formerly known as Henry Gale”

Terry O’Quinn’s arms give me life

It’s the Pearl station

Oh riiiight there’s been cameras in the Swan station, totally forgot that

“every single second of my pathetic little life is as useless as that button” poor John

Sawyer comforting Kate… I’m here for it!

episode 22 – Three Minutes:

Oh Alex, my sweet angel

“we got caught in a net” – “why are you telling me this, Sawyer?” – “because you’re about the closet thing I got a friend on this island, Doctor.” I wish they had spent more time focussing on that broship rather than the love triangle

DESMOND’S BACK!!!!

episodes 23 and 24 – Live Together, Die Alone:

“we’re stuck in a bloody snow globe”

Charles fucking Widmore, my OTV – One True Villain

Aaah it’s the weird Hurley bird

John crying in the jungle breaks my heart (and fuck you Charlie for making fun of him)

“with enough money and determination you can find anyone”

Desmond realising John saved his life by hammering on that hatch door is one of the best moments in the whole show.

Not Henry Gale is back, my bebe, right there with the dramatic appearance on a boat

Desmond really big on competing against Sayid in the “who’s got the best island hair”-competition (Sayid still winning tho)

“I’m sorry for whatever happened that made you stop believing but it’s all real.”

“We’re the good guys, Michael!”

[lizcallicott]

“You make known to me the path of life; you fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures of living with you forever.”   Psalm 16:11

“You deserve better!” Those are words we like to hear, aren’t they? They make us feel as if we are worthy of being thought of, loved, and redeemable even with all our junk.

Do you know that this is basically what Jesus ‘said’ to us when He gave His life for us on the cross? He paid for all our sin because he didn’t want us to have to live under the bondage of it, under the pressure of the debilitating self struggle  of “I’m not good enough, strong enough, holy enough to fight the battles for confidence, peace, and joy. Those battles of wrong thoughts that keep us reeling inside playing the same old record, “It’s no use. Nothing is changing no matter how hard I try. I will just stay where I am with who I am--burdened, heavy laden, shackled to my pain, trauma, grief. After all, I’m pretty comfortable in this “lesser than” place. It’s not a perfect fit but it’s doable. I’m still surviving.”

Surviving is one thing. But, thriving... isn’t that what we want? It’s what Jesus wants.

“This less than life--NO, NO, NO!” says our Lord and Savior, as he looked (and keeps looking) at God’s plan for you and me. I hear it in my heart and in my gut. Jesus is saying to you and me, “You friends of Mine were worth the cost. For you to be free and enjoy life to the full, I died so that you could have life, life everlasting, and while you are here on this battlefield of earth, to also have joy--and not just a little bit, but in abundance. I really want this for you!”

It always comes down to the question though, “Will we accept what Jesus has to offer? Will we open the gift of Himself that He’s bestowed upon us? Will we say yes to His invitation to table of the greatest goodness ever? Will we stop settling for “appetizers” and “enjoy the feast” He has cooked up for us?”

Why would we not? Is it because we don’t think we deserve such grace, mercy, abundance? Well, we don’t but Jesus doesn’t care. It sounds crazy, doesn’t it? That’s because it is! The story of how he saved (saves) you and me is beyond comprehensible. Who else would do such a thing? Give up his own life for ours, and take on all our imperfections, weirdness, temptations and propensities for “evil” especially when He is perfect. But, that’s our JESUS! That’s the deal as hard as it is to believe, and accepting it is the one we are asked to make with him.

It’s the beautiful exchange of redemption in Isaiah 1:18-19. “Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (And then, there’s the sticky part, the choice that’s up to you and me)-- “if you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land.”

The Lord is willing to give us the very finest gifts of all. But first, we must be willing to take it, and obedient to the Giver of it. We must take the Truth of His grace and act on it, seeing ourselves through His abounding mercy and love. Because we are the Child of God, the friend of Christ, the temple where the Holy Spirit dwells we are entitled to better. He doesn’t want or intend us to live in the slums of a downtrodden spirit, the poverty of a life without Him. He wants us to come to Him, confess our sins, our grievances (even those against ourselves), and take on a new way of living (a Higher way) in His power, strength and hope. No, it is not easy. It takes a deliberate making up of our mind, a continual renewal of our thoughts and commitment to Jesus. It’s not a one and done, because troubles do not ever go away for good on this earth. 

Friend, I can tell you all day long you deserve better than living in bondage, that you deserve to be free, that you are worth more. But I’m not asking you to listen to the sweetness of those confirming words as your fellow sojourner. I’m asking you (like I am myself) to stand firm in the promise of the Lord Jesus Christ that He is here to not only set us free but give us favor (goodness) when we trust in His way, His plan for us. Even when we can’t see it, we have to believe what He says in Romans 8:28, “All things work together for those who love the Lord and are called according to His promise.”

Let’s learn from how He imparted this in Luke 4:16-20, “Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him. He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the the place where it is written: “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Fulfilled it is in our hearing today. What will we do with it? Can we believe we deserve the better that He alone can give? Let’s declare it today. “No more lesser, Lord. I want all of the greatness you have for me in Jesus Christ.” ____________________________________________________________________

Contemplative questions:

Do you feel you deserve better than the life you’re living? Why or why not? Sit with Jesus and ask Him to show you. 

Are you living your best life? If not, what’s holding you back?

If you committed to stepping in deeper with Jesus (studying His life and His promises for you in the Word), what do you think could happen? What would spending time in prayer do? Fellowship with like-minded individuals--in groups like church, fitness, sports, mental and emotional support groups?

____________________________________________________________________

Check out the song: Come To The Table by Sidewalk Prophets

Dropping The Weight Day 8

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations, ABBY! You’ve been accepted as IAPETUS.

Choosing between two extremely well-written apps is never easy and I apologize for the wait. But, Abby, this app blew me away! Describing Jack as someone who “existed in sharp fragments littered against the pavement, indistinguishable from shattered glass” is quite possibily the perfect way to describe him; he’s there and you know he’s watching, but you can’t figure out where because he hides so well. Jack Mizuno is a ghost, as you mentioned in your app, but he is a ghost that I want to know more and more about. 

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

Out of Character Information: 

NAME/ALIAS: Abby PRONOUNS: she/her AGE: 22 TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: PST, 6-7/10 – I’m a full time grad student take a pretty heavy course and research load, so generally I’m busy during the day but my schedule is kind of flexible? Generally speaking I’ll be online every day but either in the early mornings or evenings.

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Jack Mizuno / Iapetus

GENDER/PRONOUNS: cis male & he/him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS: 

Jack Mizuno did not exist. He was a ghost, a dead end paper trail carefully crafted to lead whoever wanted to look in pretty little circles. Knowing all the back and trapdoors of the internet better than the alley behind your poor excuse for an apartment tended to make that an easy feat. Jack Mizuno existed in sharp fragments littered against the pavement, indistinguishable from shattered glass; you needed to know just where to look to find him. This is by design. Jack has secrets, knows secrets, has seen and buried the terrible things mutants will do in the name of survival. 

He is not a charity. Before Alma held him up by his hair and gave him a choice that wasn’t a choice at all, Jack had to make his own purpose. That was expensive. Pro Bono lawyers don’t drive the sports cars or wear expensive watches. In mutant terms – the ones who can dig and bury and burn as well as Jack can and do it for free end up dead. So, no, Jack is not a charity, but it doesn’t mean he has no heart. He has quite a lot of it, actually; he needs it not to drown in all the destitution he bears witness to. It surprises a lot of people the true extent of cruelty human beings are capable of. It doesn’t surprise Jack, anymore, but that doesn’t make him immune to their equal or greater capacity for kindness. Alma showed him kindness; he’s still trying to understand how to pay it back with interest. 

Self-preservation is paramount. Jack has been a bottom feeder for as long as he can remember – taking the ugly, awful work law enforcement doesn’t care for and PIs find distasteful. It bred in him a fine-tuned intuition, sharp as a knife’s edge. He knows when to take the money, when to ask no questions, and when to disappear. Disappearing is an art like any other, and Jack is exceptionally good at it. A fool’s errand is inviting Jack into your life and thinking you can keep a secret from him after. He’s not curious, he’s careful. Thorough. Leaves nothing and then less to chance.

The knife’s edge is double sided – Jack has a flighty, nervous nature to him that he stamps down with caffeine and cigarettes. It doesn’t go away, and dampens at the expense of his better judgment, but doing so sweeps down the hair at the back of his neck and stills his fingers when there’s work to be done. Jack is a shark; stop swimming for too long and he’ll sink straight to the ground.

BIO: There is no minimum or maximum requirement here. But, we do ask that you provide enough that gives us a good grasp of your writing style. 

Everyone expects it to still be snowing in March. Chicago, they say, with an endeared little smile and the flat ah to tell you without telling you they’re a native, winter from October to April. In 1989, March rained. Buckets of it for more days that most folks bothered counting. March was a gust at the end of winter just warm enough to make it miserable. Jack was born smack in the middle, when the city was drowning. 

The rest comes in fragments; a story quilted together by Jack’s own fragile memories and what he’s managed to take from others. The power flickered in and out in the hours leading up to his birth – concerning, perhaps, but neither catastrophic nor unexpected for the Gage Park General Hospital.

Jack’s mother was a nervous woman. He wondered, later, if that anxious constitution was something inherited from the womb; if his mother’s uneasy heart set in his a parallel double-step from conception. Perhaps it was imparted later, swallowed up by Jack in the spaces between the lined up bills on the kitchen counter, angry shaking of locks that stuck in the cold – which was a frequent visitor, in their house – and trembling hands over thread-bare collars. 

Jack’s father was a ghost, but the kind that lingered heavy, an almost-hand that threatened above his shoulder and the doorway. More than once Jack wondered what he inherited from his father, what strange neuroticisms – or, indeed, mutations – he left in place of a hand print. It’s the only secret Jack has refused to recover.

School passes unremarkably. Jack is neither the bully nor the victim; insignificant enough to slip under the radar and glaze by. Not a top student. Not struggling. Lost in the waves that ebb through the blown-out halls, into the rusted chairs, out onto the buses that only run on hope and cold air. It’s all very – fine. It’s fine. His mother comes home with a hand in his hair and a question about his day she doesn’t wait to hear the answer to. His school work is swept aside to make room on the table to count what they’ve lost and earned for the day. When he’s old enough, Jack will drop his books to do the same. 

They don’t quite get that far.

See, Jack doesn’t have a flash-bang mutation. There’s no schoolyard scuffle that goes from rowdy to lethal like the flip of a coin and gets the whole neighborhood straight on the news. His is a slow crescendo, and goes like this: His mother is spending laters nights at work, which means a locked door at home and the silent command to find something to do with his time. He’s about fourteen – not old enough to work somewhere safe but too old to be knocking on neighbors doors alone and hungry.

He settles for the library next to school. It’s warm, well-lit, and they have a computer. Jack only gets to go on those an hour a day at school. He noodles around when he’s bored of his homework, stumbles on things he shouldn’t but doesn’t know any better to avoid – or, rather, doesn’t know aren’t normal. He’s smart and stupid enough to keep this to himself, age up into high school with this secret tucked under his tongue; wait until the conversation has already turned to mutants before he dares to bring it up on his own. He doesn’t tell his mother, just yet, wants to know for sure that what he can do is something he can also control. Jack isn’t afforded that chance, either.

Eviction notices were a big red staple of Jack’s childhood – taped to the door or slipped quietly underneath it. It’s only when he’s seventeen and a hair’s breadth from graduating that their landlord finally follows through. Jack comes home to the door wrenched open and their meager belongings scattered or gone. He finds his mother in a house down the street – an aunt’s maybe, or a distant cousin’s – with her face in her hands and shoulders shaking. It goes like that for some time, drifting just the two of them, until Jack comes back to their newest makeshift home and finds her gone.

What comes next is – dark. Jack comes to in an apartment reminiscent of his childhood, wearing clothes he doesn’t really recognize but smell like him. There might be someone in his bed. He might be squatting. He shut off for a while, he isn’t sure. The laptop left open on the floor is definitely his – it has his fingerprints all over it. Digital, mostly, but there’s the odd smudge that gives way to physical ownership. This is what he has now, neck deep in the chasm of loneliness: a keyboard and a client list a mile long.  

It goes like this for some while. Jack stays in his probably-not-legally-rented apartment, waiting for the people who know how to find him, well – find him. Most of them pay well. He takes what feels safe and keeps himself warm, but freelancing for strangers with an envelope of cash is a near-vertical learning curve. Jack has an edge, but he’s also stupid in the early days. He still searches for his mother, when he can. He moves apartments twice and nearly gets taken into two more times beyond that. 

The months of smooth sailing and steady income that flow in afterwards makes him arrogant, and reckless. It’s something between a favor and a job that gets him caught – a favor, because, damn him, he cares about the client more than he should, but still technically a job when there’s a paycheck at the end of it. Sentiment makes him desperate, experience makes him careless, and the resource he’d heard Blackburn might have had access to was never even there in the first place. 

The first time he met Alma, the only thing Jack smelled was blood – his, probably. His mouth certainly felt full of it. He never had much use for religion in his short, cold life, even if his mother was devout for all of hers. Staring at Alma, one hand in his hair and offering him a choice that wasn’t really a choice at all, he might have almost understood. With a strong hand and an outstretched arm, he remembers the verses and psalms, as he stares at her. They might even feel true.

Jack is not a watchdog, but he’s something close, maybe. Alma offered him a purpose he already had in front of him but didn’t know how to take. There is no doubt Jack’s loyalty to the Blackburn Syndicate runs deep and unwavering. He believes in the cause, acts for the cause, maybe even lives for it. But he is still a solitary creature, and the rising tensions pull tight at his skin.

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS: Please expand on at least one of the connections set out in the bio. There can be as little or as much as you want to be written here. We would love to see how you interpreted the connections we set out!

LENOX. Jack has spent time adrift – living through a haze that blurred the lines in his mind. He has no desire to return to that state, ever. He grounds himself in reality, more so than ever. His life depends on truth and the relentless pursuit of it. Lenox is a direct threat to his own stability, and worse, they seem to find pleasure from seeing him squirm under their little games. He hates it, he hates them, and he hates more how he doesn’t really hate it at all. Jack has built his life into a routine, and the illusions annoy him. They set his teeth on edge and give him the shakes for days after, but there’s a reason he hasn’t asked Alma for one of her fists into Lenox’s pretty little face.  

ILIE. Jack doesn’t make a habit of sitting on any of his secrets. He tried it, once. He almost bled out on the pavement. The second time he was nearly locked up in a testing facility. So, no, he doesn’t hold on to the transgressions of others any more than he needs to. Chances are there’s some way to spin it in his favor – or, the Syndicate’s, now. It’s – different with Ilie. Jack is meant to be playing nice with the King’s Collective, so says the hand on his leash, but he just can’t help this small amusement. It’s a vice that will get him killed, or worse, he knows. The second he slips Ilie will go running, but it’s so nice to be the one in control for a time. Even if it’s not really enough, only the illusion of it. 

RAHIM. Jack isn’t sure quite what to make of Rahim, and that’s a dangerous thing. Jack likes to have the answers – is rather used to it – and doesn’t know what to do with himself when he is left wanting for them. Enter, Rahim. A man Jack is meant to be getting along with, tries to get along with, but can’t quite seem to figure out. They dance around each other, careful, and Jack is unwilling to take the first step forward or back. He’s a watcher, so he watches. He knows it unsettles Rahim, and maybe that makes it all the more worth it. It’s more fun to earn the answers, anyway.

EXTRA: 

Pinterest

Headcanons

Jack Mizuno is an alias, easy enough to assume. He told Alma his real name privately after he agreed to his terms, but no one else knows it as far as he’s aware.

He’s left handed; insignificant, but it’s a pet-peeve of his when people point it out like it’s something secret or exciting. There are lots of secret or exciting things about him, this isn’t one of them.

Jack doesn’t define his sexuality in strict terms or labels. He’s more of a convenience person who recognizes he has needs, but doesn’t much care who satisfies them. If he had to choose he might prefer men, but it’s only by a slim margin.

ANYTHING ELSE:

Uhhh this was not proof read so apologies for inevitable typos!

[dfroza]

is your beautiful heart prepared with Light?

have you welcomed the entrance of the Spirit (inside, Anew) in the pure and eternal truth of Love as revealed by the Son?

have you come to view all of life through baptism eyes?

A sacred question mark (?) that relates with Today’s reading in the Scriptures from the book of Matthew in chapter 25:

Jesus: Or picture the kingdom of heaven this way. It will be like ten bridesmaids who each picked up a lantern and went out to meet a certain bridegroom. Five of these women were sensible, good with details, and remembered to bring small flasks of oil for their lanterns. But five of them were flighty, too caught up in the excitement of their jaunt, and forgot to bring oil with them. The bridegroom did not turn up right away. Indeed, all the women, while waiting, found themselves falling asleep. And then in the middle of the night, they heard someone call, “The bridegroom is here, finally! Wake up and greet him!” The women got up and trimmed the wicks of their lanterns and prepared to go greet the groom. The five women who had no oil turned to their friends for help.

Ill-prepared Bridesmaids: Please give us some of your oil! Our lanterns are flickering and will go out soon.

But the five women who’d come prepared with oil said they didn’t have enough.

Prepared Bridesmaids: If we give you some of our oil, we’ll all run out too soon! You’d better go wake up a dealer and buy your own supply.

So the five ill-prepared women went in search of oil to buy, and while they were gone, the groom arrived. The five who stood ready with their lanterns accompanied him to the wedding party, and after they arrived, the door was shut.

Finally the rest of the women turned up at the party. They knocked on the door.

Ill-prepared Bridesmaids: Master, open up and let us in!

Bridegroom (refusing): I certainly don’t know you.

So stay awake; you neither know the day nor hour [when the Son of Man will come].

The Book of Matthew, Chapter 25:1-13 (The Voice)

with this chapter of the New Testament paired with Ezekiel chapter 32 in which is again seen an act of God’s “Checkmate” against the dragon named in this ancient writing as Pharaoh of Egypt:

[A Cloud Across the Sun]

In the twelfth year, on the first day of the twelfth month, God’s Message came to me: “Son of man, sing a funeral lament over Pharaoh king of Egypt. Tell him:

“‘You think you’re a young lion

prowling through the nations.

You’re more like a dragon in the ocean,

snorting and thrashing about.

“‘God, the Master, says:

“‘I’m going to throw my net over you

—many nations will get in on this operation—

and haul you out with my dragnet.

I’ll dump you on the ground

out in an open field

And bring in all the crows and vultures

for a sumptuous carrion lunch.

I’ll invite wild animals from all over the world

to gorge on your guts.

I’ll scatter hunks of your meat in the mountains

and strew your bones in the valleys.

The country, right up to the mountains,

will be drenched with your blood,

your blood filling every ditch and channel.

When I blot you out,

I’ll pull the curtain on the skies

and shut out the stars.

I’ll throw a cloud across the sun

and turn off the moonlight.

I’ll turn out every light in the sky above you

and put your land in the dark.

Decree of God, the Master.

I’ll shake up everyone worldwide

when I take you off captive to strange and far-off countries.

I’ll shock people with you.

Kings will take one look and shudder.

I’ll shake my sword

and they’ll shake in their boots.

On the day you crash, they’ll tremble,

thinking, “That could be me!”

[To Lay Your Pride Low]

“‘God, the Master, says:

“‘The sword of the king of Babylon

is coming against you.

I’ll use the swords of champions

to lay your pride low,

Use the most brutal of nations

to knock Egypt off her high horse,

to puncture that hot-air pomposity.

The Book of Ezekiel, Chapter 32:1-12 (The Message)

for to humble ourselves under God and His truth is essential in life, which when not chosen by a person it will be chosen for them, eventually. sometimes not until after a person passes away from the physical body.

and then moving along with Today’s reading with the Psalms that coincide with October 24 and day 32 of Autumn as well as day 297 of the year (equaling Psalm 147 now with the book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

[Psalm 24]

A song of David.

The earth and all that’s upon it belong to the Eternal.

The world is His, with every living creature on it.

With seas as foundations and rivers as boundaries,

He shaped the continents, fashioned the earth.

Who can possibly ascend the mountain of the Eternal?

Who can stand before Him in sacred spaces?

Only those whose hands have been washed and hearts made pure,

men and women who are not given to lies or deception.

The Eternal will stand close to them with blessing and mercy at hand,

and the God who redeems will right what has been wrong.

These are the people who chase after Him;

[like Jacob, they look for the face of God].

[pause]

City gates—open wide!

Ancient doors—stand back!

For the glorious King shall soon pass your way.

Who is the glorious King?

The Eternal who is powerful

and mightily equipped for battle.

City gates—open wide!

Ancient doors—stand back!

For the glorious King shall soon pass your way.

Who is the glorious King?

The Eternal, Commander of heaven’s army,

He is the glorious King.

[pause]

The Book of Psalms, Poem 24 (The Voice)

[Psalm 32]

A contemplative song of David.

How happy is the one whose wrongs are forgiven,

whose sin is hidden from sight.

How happy is the person whose sin the Eternal will not take into account.

How happy are those who no longer lie, to themselves or others.

When I refused to admit my wrongs, I was miserable,

moaning and complaining all day long

so that even my bones felt brittle.

Day and night, Your hand kept pressing on me.

My strength dried up like water in the summer heat;

You wore me down.

[pause]

When I finally saw my own lies,

I owned up to my sins before You,

and I did not try to hide my evil deeds from You.

I said to myself, “I’ll admit all my sins to the Eternal,”

and You lifted and carried away the guilt of my sin.

[pause]

So let all who are devoted to You

speak honestly to You now, while You are still listening.

For then when the floods come, surely the rushing water

will not even reach them.

You are my hiding place.

You will keep me out of trouble

and envelop me with songs that remind me I am free.

[pause]

I will teach you and tell you the way to go and how to get there;

I will give you good counsel, and I will watch over you.

But don’t be stubborn and stupid like horses and mules

who, if not reined by leather and metal,

will run wild, ignoring their masters.

Tormented and empty are wicked and destructive people,

but the one who trusts in the Eternal is wrapped tightly in His gracious love.

Express your joy; be happy in Him, you who are good and true.

Go ahead, shout and rejoice aloud, you whose hearts are honest and straightforward.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 32 (The Voice)

[Psalm 147]

Praise the Eternal!

It is good to sing praises to our God,

for praise is beautiful and pleasant.

The Eternal, Architect of earth, is building Jerusalem,

finding the lost, gathering Israel’s outcasts.

He binds their wounds,

heals the sorrows of their hearts.

He counts all the stars within His hands,

carefully fixing their number

and giving them names.

Our Lord is great. Nothing is impossible with His overwhelming power.

He is loving, compassionate, and wise beyond all measure.

The Eternal will lift up the lowly

but throw down the wicked to the earth.

Open your mouths with thanks!

Sing praises to the Eternal!

Strum the harp in unending praise to our God

Who blankets the heavens with clouds,

sends rain to water the thirsty earth,

and pulls up each blade of grass upon the mountainside.

He opens His hands to feed all the animals

and scatters seed to nestlings when they cry.

He takes no pleasure in the raw strength of horses;

He finds no joy in the speed of the sprinter.

But the Eternal does take pleasure in those who worship Him,

those who invest hope in His unfailing love.

O Jerusalem, praise the Eternal!

O Zion, praise your God!

For His divine power reinforces your city gates,

blesses your children in the womb.

He establishes peace within your borders,

fills your markets with hearty golden wheat.

His command ripples across the earth;

His word runs out on swift feet.

He blankets the earth in wooly snow,

scattering frost like ashes over the land.

He throws down hail like stones falling from a mountain.

Can any withstand His wintry blast?

But He dispatches His word, and the thaw begins;

at His command, the spring winds blow, gently stirring the waters back to life.

He brings Jacob in on His plan, declaring His word—

His statutes and His teachings to Israel.

He has not treated any other nation in such a way;

they live unaware of His commands.

Praise the Eternal!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 147 (The Voice)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for October 24, the 32nd day of Autumn as a mirroring of the alphabetic number 32 of the word “Eve” as well as being day 297 of the year that mirrors the address at Apple Ridge apartments in Standale where i lived on Manzana court back in ‘94 when i was married for the first time:

[firstumcschenectady]

“The Healing Earth” based on Psalm 8 (& James Weldon Johnson's “The Creation”)

A few years ago I was informed that Sky Lake was a prime example of “Celtic Christianity/Spirituality.” I had no idea what that meant. So I looked it up, and discovered that it was true, AND that there is a name for my spirituality. Isn't it wonderful when we find names for things we've known without having words? Looking up Celtic Spirituality reveals a description that starts with “Love of the Natural World.” It is explained this way:

“The prayers of the Celtic Saints are filled with experiences of God's presence in creation, simplicity of living in harmony with creation, and awareness of the sacredness of all things. The Psalms are full of praise for God's handiwork in nature, and Celtic Christianity followed in that tradition, reflected in prayers and poems which spoke of the Sacred soul in everything. As it says in the first chapter of Genesis, all things originate in the Divine Source, and so all things are sacred. The Presence permeates all of nature, and speaks to us of the 'Original/Essential Goodness' of everything. To enter into this Presence is a sacramental experience so that when we walk in nature everything is a visible reminder of the Invisible presence.”1

One of their saints, “Columbanus said – 'If you want to know the Creator, first get to know the creation.' If there is any one word that would sum up the essence of Celtic Spirituality, it's the word 'PRESENCE.' Awareness of the Sacred Presence at every moment of life, in all places.”2The other defining factors of Celtic Spirituality are community, hospitality, soul-friends, art and music, pilgrimage.

I suspect that for some of you, Celtic Spirituality is a part of your connection to God. For some, maybe it isn't. In any case, it is helpful to remember that within Christianity itself there are many developed roads and paths to God, and the ones that fit you best may have road signs and maps, if you want to find them. There are multiple spiritual paths, even within Christianity, because humans connect differently. For today, I'm going to continue to explore within a Celtic vein, but please remember this is one among many.

At this time of year I'm mesmerized by how many shades of green there are, and how many I can see in one glance at the world around us. Each tree and plant offer several shades, with the grass itself adding more. For me, this is a feast. I love seeing the verdant, vibrant, living world, and my soul is satisfied watching the wind blow through the various leaves. The Presence of God seems especially visible.

This is a colorful time of year, even beyond the green. Flowers are plentiful and many trees are still covered in flowers or leaves of other colors! It is a time of visual abundance, as richly and vibrantly beautiful as a snow covered winter day is beautiful in its unbroken stillness and grace.

This time of year I am most receptive to the creation narratives of the Bible, perhaps because spring seems to speak them all by itself, and the words of the narratives add to the story the world is telling! James Weldon Johnson's poem is one of the most famous re-tellings of Genesis, and Psalm 8 is one of the most glorious reflections on creation in the text. They remind us that God's fingerprints are found all over the world, and when we look for them, we can find them.

The natural world is the source of all the things we need for life, as well as being a source of deep wisdom. It is a reflection of God, as are all of God's creatures. One of my seminary professors offered us a way of praying that opens us to the wisdom of creation, by simply paying attention to one little aspect of the whole. He instructed us this way:

1. Go to a place where God’s creation meets you: ask for God’s presence with you.

2. Attend to the works of creation around you. Does one thing seem to invite you, strike you, impress you, or somehow attract you?

3. Come to a sense of quiet rest in the presence of God and in this piece of God’s handiwork.

4. Simply gaze upon this part of creation for an extended time – a time of wonder, amazement, openness, receiving.

5. Eventually, engage God in conversation about this thing you have noticed. You may want to ask God questions such as: Where has it been? Who has touched, held, seen it? What does God value it? How is it related to what is around it? How is it related to me? – to the rest of creation? What does it tell me of myself?

And finally… How is God present to me through this piece of creation? What does it tell me of God? What is God saying to me, offering me?

6. Remain for a time in the experience of whatever follows these questions.

7. Offer God thanks for this time and for the wonders of creation.3

This prayer form seems to derive particularly from Celtic Christianity, and the wisdom of the natural world and our capacity to hear it! The prayer, trusts creation and those listening to it.

This sounds a bit like the Psalmist, who spoke of star-gazing as source of wisdom. I'd like you to hear the Psalm anew, this version written by Barbara J. Monda. Her version focuses on the nurturing aspects of creation and our response to it. She refers to God as “Shekkinah” which according to Google means, “the glory of the divine presence, conventionally represented as light or interpreted symbolically (in Kabbalism as a divine feminine aspect).” Here is her version:

Shekkinah,4 how glorious is this world that everywhere bears the mark of your touch!

I sit among the mountains and am in awe of your beauty.

Babies in their mother's arms remind me of how you care for and know our every need.

We are safe in the cover of your clothes.

You hold at bay those who want to harm and take vengeance.

Your steadfastness is all around us and your love makes our hearts jump.

When I look up to the moon I see you there.

When I see the stars I know they are jewels worn by you, signaling your presence.

You have made us just less than yourself.

You have given us the caretaking of all the earth

and the creatures on it as our companions.

Birds sent by you to sing cheer my day.

Fish swim at my feet and the fox and deer bring joy to my life.

The work of your fingers is everywhere my eyes turn.

The sun warms us from above and the rocks hold us from below.

The rhythms of the oceans and the passing of the moon are all ours too,

woven in us so we will be fruitful as you are.

Shekkinah, I feel greatness of you in my bones.

How can I properly thank you for all you have done for me?

My soul reflects your love and my heart holds what you have made.

I will be the cup from which others may drink of you and we will all sing of your wonders.5

Another seminary professor, Marvin Sweeney, told us that the ancient Hebrew Temple was themed on creation.  He said that indicated that creation was the primary miracle of ancient Judaism, and everything else was derived from it. Similarly, creation is a theme throughout scripture, likely because the natural world has been a source of wisdom about God for all of humanity's history. Some are more in tune with it than others. The poets, the Psalmist, and Monda, and Weldon Johnson are particularly in tune. They each speak of humanity as connected to God, thus given special responsibility for caring for creation. Christian theology sometimes speaks of us as “stewards of God's earth.” That means that the earth and all that is in it is God's, but God trusts us to take care of it on God's own behalf. That is good, and meaningful work. However, given the impact of humanity on Global Climate Change and extinctions, we certainly have plenty of ways we could do that work better!

While the self-descibed defining factors of Celtic Spirituality were love of the natural world, community, hospitality, soul-friends, art and music, pilgrimage; I think the biggest difference I see is a focus on goodness: Goodness of God, Goodness of Creation, Goodness of Humanity. So much of Christianity has chosen to focus everything BUT the goodness. There is plenty in life that draws our attention that is not good. But, there is also much goodness, and when our souls are hungry, they hunger for goodness.

In Weldon Johnson's poem, creation begins as a response to God's SMILE.

Then God smiled,

And the light broke,6

And that image, which is itself a blessing, feels like the essence of Celtic Spirituality itself. God Smiled, light broke, creation began, and it was good....

And it is good still. Thanks be to God. Amen

1 http://celtic-spirituality.net/what-is-christian-celtic-spirituality/ accessed 5/27/17

2http://celtic-spirituality.net/what-is-christian-celtic-spirituality/ accessed 5/27/17

3Andrew Dreitcer, March 1996, All Rights Reserved.

4Google dictionary.

5Barbara J. Monda, Rejoice, Beloved Women! The Psalms Revisioned (Notre Dame: Indiana, Sorin Books), 22.

6James Weldon Johnson, The Creation: A Negro Sermon

--

Rev. Sara E. Baron

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305

Pronouns: she/her/hers

http://fumcschenectady.org/

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

[dailyaudiobible]

10/27/2020 DAB Transcript

Jeremiah 51:1-53, Titus 2:1-15, Psalms 99:1-9, Proverbs 26:17

Today is the 27th day of October welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it's great to be here with you today as we continue our journey through this month and through this week and see the seasons change. And for us, here in the South in the rolling hills of Tennessee, it's kind of a transition into more of the rainy season, the wet season, wintertime. We don’t get much snow here. So, it's kind of like a rainy season. So, we’re transitioning our way and I’m sure everywhere that experiences autumn it’s kind of the same. The temperatures cool, the leaves change, the rains come and then in the midst of all that there's these beautiful days that are just spectacular. So, let's enjoy where we are as we are as we move forward. We’re reading from the English Standard Version this week. Today, Jeremiah chapter 51 versus 1 through 53.

Commentary:

Okay. Well let's…let's talk about dog ears then. Let's talk about dog ears and meddling straight out of the Proverbs today. So, dogs…like I've been around dogs, you know, most of my life I…I suppose…now that I think about it. Yeah. I have a couple of dogs now, we do, Jill and I, the family. We have a couple of dogs. We have Lucy. She's an Australian Shepherd and she's a little princess and she’s the best dog I've ever had. And then we have Maggie who is a little Yorky Poo with a completely different personality than Lucy. And they’re both sweethearts and Lucy just wants to please and she wants to love. And Peggy, she's kind of a bit of an opportunist but they’re good girls and we love them and we play with them and you can…you can be playing with your dog and they can be growling at you and you can have your hand in their mouth and you're moving a toy around or whatever, and everybody knows that this is play. And, so they’re trying to pull something out your hand and you’re trying to jerk back or whatever. But you sneak up…if…if you sneak up on any of them…if I sneak up, especially on Maggie, she will snap. She's scared. She snaps. It’s like grabbing her ears and not letting them go, she would be so angry. But if you sneak up on a dog and don't just spook them so that they bark but you sneak up on them and grab their ears and that's how they become aware of your presence, that’s gonna…well…I’d have to try it to find out what happens but I'm pretty sure I don't want to try. They’re gonna snap back, which is what happens to us when we meddle in something that isn't ours to be involved in, that we have inserted ourselves into a conflict that isn't ours, but we have an opinion about it all. Or we insert ourselves into a conversation that may be a debate but we just amp it up to the next level because we've got to tell what we think, Like, we've got to be seen and heard. And, of course, we probably know people to do that about just about everything even though there was never an invitation to offer the opinion. And, so, the same thing happens to us. When somebody inserts themselves unexpectedly into something that is none of their business it's almost like we were a dog and they snuck up and grabbed us by the ears because we want to snap at that. We want to put it in its place. And man, the proverb couldn't come at a better time, right? I mean, there's a lot of that going around. And it’s interesting, when we insert ourselves and meddle in something and then get snapped at then we have his righteous indignation like we've been wronged when we were the one that inserted ourselves into the story and got snapped at. So, Proverbs has told us one sentence about a dog and about meddling and we have to look deeper below the surface. What's going on here? What is the wisdom here? And we could say, “well the baseline wisdom here is don't meddle if you don't want to be snapped at.” But like one layer below that is, “why do we feel the need to insert ourselves and meddle in this particular thing in the first place? What pulls us continually into these kinds of things where we’re inserting ourselves? And then maybe one side question to that would be, “is God inviting me to insert myself into this?” which would be a different story, which would then be like, “well if I get snapped at in that kind of scenario then I know I'm…I'm going into it with love. I'm…I'm trying to be the hands and feet of Jesus in the situation. And if I get snapped at in the process then I can understand what's going on here.” But most of our meddling isn't that. Most of our meddling isn’t that. We meddle. We insert ourselves and stir up the pot and get involved in things that have nothing to do with us. So, asking simply, “how will this play out? If I go into this and I haven't been invited by God to insert myself into this, will I be able to represent the kingdom in this? How will this affect all of these relationships and the witness of the kingdom of God that I’ve devoted myself to?” If the answer is like, “there's no real redeeming value here. I'm not being asked by God to do this. It is my need to be heard. It is my need to give my two cents but really nothing good probably can come from this.” Probably not a good idea to grab the dog’s ears then. Only gonna get snapped at. So, underneath it all, this little proverb, this little sentence about dog ears and meddling is a proverb that forces us to check our own motives before we get involved in anything. Why are we about to go into this kind of battle or this kind of confrontation? Can anything redeeming come of it? Good words for these days.

Prayer:

Father, we invite You into that. It’s again a reminder that our mouths and the things that we form with our mouths have unmeasurable power in this world. The wrong word at the wrong time causes terrible mayhem and we know that well because we've caused it and we've been swept into it and we've meddled in places that we don't belong. And, so, come Holy Spirit help us with that, help us to slow down. Really what's required, and so many of these wise Proverbs are the active slowing down in our decision-making process, that we take a beat before we speak, that we take a beat before we act and consider the trajectory. What good can come of this? Can I represent the kingdom of God in this? Help us to ask these questions now as much as has ever been needed. We need this. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

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[howtopleasegod]

The Love and Fairness of God, Part 6 of 7 - In all His Dealings with Mankind

This article was republished from WhiteRaimentEvangelismObey.blogspot.com. By John Foll, written 8/21/2017 to 9/06/2017. © Copyright 2017 John Foll

[* Please start with Part 1 of this series and read it in order, so everything makes sense.]

Conclusion of the wonderful passages and promises showing God’s great kindness and mercy towards His created beings whom He loves:

Yes! These bear repeating, with descriptions added where needed to some to help you understand it. 1) “It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him.” Lamentations 3:22-25 KJV. 2) “Because Thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise Thee.” Psalm 63:3 KJV. 3) Psalm 136: All 26 verses of Psalm 136 end in ‘His mercy endureth forever’ in the King James Version! And in the New American Standard Bible version all of the verses from this Psalm end in ‘His lovingkindness is everlasting’ 26 times! Get the point? How is this Psalm true if God is punishing souls forever in Hell fire? In what way could He ever be construed as being merciful if He did this? Jesus also said, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” Matthew 5:7 KJV. Wouldn’t this be a contradiction to tell people that they should be merciful if God wasn’t merciful? If this were true, how could anyone expect mercy from God, even if they repented from the sins they committed in this lifetime? If someone doesn’t believe that God is merciful, this could lead them to treat others unmercifully too. The phrases lovingkindness, love and mercy and like terms are repeated many times in the Bible, particularly in the books of Moses and the Psalms. Why? Because many people in the Bible saw their need of God and forgiveness. This truth greatly appealed to them, which Moses, David and many others wrote about. 4) Psalms 103:8-10 paints a different picture of God than is presented by many. He is compassionate, gracious and slow to anger. And He is full of love and kindness for all mankind. God will not remember His anger forever. So how can this be, if He punishes people in hell for endless ages, whom Christ died for and loves? 1 John 4:8 says that God is love, and this picture of God is in direct contradiction to what many people believe, unfortunately. God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked! Therefore repent and live! 5) “Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting.” Psalm 118:29 NASB. Ditto for this text! How can God’s lovingkindness be everlasting, if He burns someone in hell forever? That would be a lie, and then we would serve God out of fear instead of love. 6) In Exodus 33:12-19 we see the wonderful story of how Moses asked God to show him His glory! Who had ever dared asked this of God before, in recorded history? None. And what did God declare was His glory? He will be gracious to whom He will be gracious and will show mercy on whom He will show mercy! Wow! This is a view of God’s glory that is rarely heard we think, especially since it is coming from the Old Testament! Many claim that they understand God’s love. But if they really believed it, they would be proclaiming it with all of their being, heart, mind and strength! How can anyone who loves God do otherwise? This statement about God’s graciousness and mercy defines Him in the same way as 1 John 4:8, that God is love. See also Exodus 33:12-19. 7) “’Come now, and let us reason together,’ Says the LORD, ‘though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool.” Isaiah 1:18-20 NASB. Come let us reason together! God has made provision for your needs, dear reader! You don't have to have scarlet sins anymore, you can be forgiven and take off that heavy load of guilt. It is too hard for you to bear! Praise the Lord! You can be happy and free! No need to worry about God punishing you for your sins if you keep confessing them and keep giving your heart to God and keep wanting to obey Him. Amen! 8) In John 3:16-18 we have the most wonderful promise of God’s salvation for mankind, if we will just believe in Jesus His Son! How can you beat this promise? It says it all! It tells us that the character of God is love! 9) Ezekiel 33:11 KJV. God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked. That is why their punishment will be complete and final; their punishment will not be eternal. Since God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked, it follows that He also would not desire their eternal suffering either, for a short mortal life of wickedness. 1 John 4:8 says that God is love. In no way could a God of Love throw out all logic, justice, fairness and of course love, in order to assign someone to the flames for all eternity. He takes no pleasure in anyone’s death and is just in all His treatment of mankind. 10) ‘Ascribe ye greatness unto our God. He is the Rock, His work is perfect: for all His ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is He.’ Deuteronomy 32:3-4. KJV. God is completely fair, just and righteous! And at the end of time when the saints will praise God with the song of Moses in Heaven, and declare that just and true are His ways, all of His righteous judgements will have been made manifest to the saved. God’s perfect justice towards those who failed to confess and repent from all their sins in their rebellion against Him, will be made plain to all. 11) Revelation 15:3-4: The song of Moses is repeated here (originally found in Exodus 15:10-19 or Deuteronomy 32:3-4 both of these are ‘the song of Moses’), which will be the praise offered to God and the Lamb, Lord God Almighty, by all of the saved in Heaven! Why do His people love Him so much? It is because He is so loving, kind and true; all of His ways are just and perfect! How marvelous are all of His works! Amen!

(To Be Continued!)

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